Monday, January 11, 2016

What to Do When People Hurt You or Let You Down

Maybe it is your friend...

Or your child...

Or your husband..

Or an extended family member...

Or your church...

Or someone at work...

Or your own parents...

Whoever it is--you have been hurt by them, disappointed, or let down in a big way. 

It is painful.

And sometimes the pain can run deep.

But there is hope to every situation, even the most painful ones. If we turn our focus to God and His Word we can find the true road to healing. I love how His Word helps to bring my fuzzy, unclear (might I also add sinful) thinking into focus. It helps to get the focus off of myself and focus onto Him.

His Word is my compass--steering me from my fleeting "emotions" to His truth which is steadfast and reliable.

I know I can always trust Him and He doesn't let me down.

So let me share with you today a few points that might be able to help you through what you are going through today:

1. Pray - One of the first things you should do when you feel that people have let you down is pray for them. Then, pray for yourself--so that you would not be tempted to sin. When people disappoint us it is easy to think wrong thoughts, to act out, to not care, to be bitter, to hold onto hurts and resentment. The best thing to do is to be aware that this very thing could happen and guard yourself---yes, those feelings are natural but be sure to take those thoughts captive before they get away from you.  You want to think biblically, and not sin against others or the Lord.

2. Forgive - It is definitely easier said than done to forgive someone  but we are called to do it. Forgiveness is not just for the offender but it is also for the one who was hurt. My old pastor would always say if someone hurt you, don't allow yourself into "debtor's prison" where you hurt yourself more by holding onto that unforgiveness. So continue to forgive as many times as needed. 

3. Love - Love is emphasized in the Bible and for good reason. We are not naturally prone to do it. God's definition of love is so different from our wordly definition. We need to love the way He loved us even when it is hard and we don't want to do so. It is not easy by any means and requires us to die to self but in the end we are better for it and having obeyed Him.

4. Repeat - "I already did all this" you say, "but I am still not over the hurt." Yes, it takes time to heal. It won't happen right away. You still need to continue to do what I mentioned above--and  pray, forgive, and love more times than you initially thought. I believe that God allows things in our lives to draw us closer to Him. He refines us through circumstances and He even exposes our weaknesses and strengths through situations that are tough.

5. Face the facts - the Bible says that "all are sinners and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). Knowing this helps us put things into perspective.  It reminds us to not put our hope in man but in God only. People will let us down, if is a fact of life.  It is to be expected. They are not perfect and they are not God. This is why we should not put our hope in man who can and will disappoint us--only in God.

6. Focus - We need to focus on the one who won't let us down--God. He is our Rock and He never changes. His truth stands true through all time.

Here are some helpful life-giving reminders as you go through the healing process:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  - Romans 8:28

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.  - Psalm 55:22

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -  - Phillipians 4:6-7

So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” 
 - Hebrews 13:6

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”  - Deuteronomy 31:8

For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.  - Psalm 27:10

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  - Proverbs 3:5

The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.  - Psalm 28:7

You are not alone, dear friend. God is with you and knows your pain and sadness.

And the good news is He will also walk with you through the path of healing and you will come out stronger for it.

Dear Lord, please help us through our pain. Help us to see the situation clearly for what it is and know that you are the One who can heal all wounds. We lift up our circumstances in prayer to you and ask that you would guide us and give us wisdom. Help us to remember that you died for us and forgave us and help us to be that example to others even when it is hard. Thank you for refining us through tough situations. We give you thanks in Jesus' name. Amen. 

Have you been recently hurt by someone?

How can we pray for you?

*Note: It occurred to me that someone who might be reading this might be being abused---if that is the case,  please be sure to reach out and get help from a trusted source!


Wounded by God's People by Anne Graham Lotz  (daughter of Billy Graham)


  1. You have no idea how much I needed this today! Someone hurt my son and I've been holding a grudge for 2 years. I forgive her but take it right back again. Now I see some of my children doing the same thing and I need to break this in myself.

    1. I am so glad it helped in some small way. I am praying for you, Phyllis. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Thank you for this encouragement. It's just what I needed tonight.

    1. I am so grateful the Lord is using it to help people--including myself. Thanks for taking the time to share here! :)

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  4. I recently found out that my husband has been having an affair. I'm devastated.

    1. I am so sorry--my heart breaks for you and we will pray for you. Please seek out advice and counsel from your pastor or a biblical counselor. Also turn to the Lord at this difficult time and seek His comfort and wisdom.

  5. This has been extremely helpful for me! Thank you!

  6. My father has been in my life since I was 8. When my mother died in 2010 my father didn't really talk much to me.. he got with another woman in 2014 and started getting involved with my husband, kids and I.
    In Jan. 2016 we all decided to move into a large 5 bedroom house together.. he is a truckdriver so since we moved in we haven't seen him at all..
    I still am not clear on what happen but they kicked us out not even a month later... I have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. I'm trying to do the right thing but I'm hurting so bad.
    We are now moving to the other side of the states.
    I don't want bitterness in my heart over this..

  7. Thank you I am trying to get over someone who came back into my life from a long time ago
    He came back and we started seeing each other again and he basically just came back to get me to fall for him and then he dumped me on Valentine's Day. After I traveled across the country to see him. I am just bitter and angry at him and myself for allowing someone so heartless into my life to make me feel so bad. I am trying to not be bitter it it's hard. I have been praying and listening to sermons trying to keep my heart open for the man I want to believe God has for me. But right now I am just pissed off and really kind of hating men!

  8. Thank you! Exactly what I needed. God bless you.

  9. the words were just what I needed to hear today Thank you

  10. My hurt has been so deep that I am having a really hard time seeing anything but the hurt, and it's led to major depression and the lack of the ability to do what needs to be done around my own home, the pain is so overwhelming that I feel like I am drowning...I read this article and immediately felt the need to pray...and pray and pray...thank you for reminding me that pain doesn't have to be the end, that God is there with our only hope

  11. Thanks for this message. I have been really hurt by my fiancé. I forgave him and we separated but of late when he tries reaching out to me i end up throwing harsh words at him and it's making hurt even myself more and more. Please pray with me

  12. My husband flirts and tries constantly to get attention from other woman he says he's just being social and friendly but it's so degrading and hurtful


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