Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Where Are the Mothers?


One morning I had a bit of a cold so I stayed and snuggled in bed for a bit longer and notorious reader that I am, I grabbed the nearest magazine off my nightstand and found myself reading through a lengthy article entitled "Too Sexy Too Soon" in Family Circle's December 2008 issue. The article was written by, I'm assuming, a non-Christian mom who's daughter had asked for a bra at the age of seven to be like her lovely friends at school.

She also pointed out how young daughters idolize pop culture as she narrowed in on a few trendy names like Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) , Cheetah Girls, and Bratz dolls and how these impressionable daughters imitate older girls and act more sensual (through dancing) and dress more seductively than their own age. (BTW, if you do a google search on the names above as I did, be prepared to brace yourselves to see who is leading the way for young girls today--girls as young as 5-10 years old are fans to these).

I couldn't have agreed more and then was even more astonished because a few pages later in the same magazine there was the latest advertisement for a Barbie movie, I couldn't believe what she was wearing. I was saddened to see it all go this far...what will it be like for the next generation of girls?

But my greater question that was sadly running through my mind is---where are the mothers? And the fathers? And even more so---the discernment? Do we not know if we put these types of 'teen idols' in front of them that they will mimick them?

Harmless, is the cry of the masses--why, don't you remember being that age? Indeed we do, we remember the heartbreak, the brokenness, the trading of our souls, the stolen innocence....all while we were being raped of our purity---what is there not to remember? That is even more the reason why we need to fiercely protect our children from the massive onslaught of the media and culture that finds pleasure in attacking and violating the helpless naivety of the young.

Now if you are a mother reading here today that has been allowing your daughter to engage in the likes of the people mentioned above, I want to greatly warn you of the dangers of allowing your precious children to 'keep company' with influences that will truly harm your children's lives. This is by no means to sound or be judgmental in anyway but with great love and admonishment that I plead with you to pray over and examine the decisions made over whom will influence your most precious treasure---your children.

Will they be the next generation that is strong and will fight for the Lord or will they be the generation that will succumb to this wasted world and be seduced by the devil and his cleverly wicked antics? Remember, what we put before them today will be a huge determining factor in the future of what they will become tomorrow and whatever a man soweth that is also what he will reap.

Finally, I'd like to add that there is a great need to pray daily for the 'teen idols' that are out there making a lasting impression on our youth today. We need to pray that they will turn from their wrong ways. We need to pray that they will turn to the Lord. We need to pray for a clear understanding of what their example is on others and its lasting repercussions of all parties . We need to pray for their parents that they would protect their children and use wise judgment. And most importantly we also need to pray God's love over them all especially for their salvation.

So parents, before you place anything before your child...

please think twice.
























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36 comments:

  1. Hello! I read your blog daily and really enjoy your spiritual sweetness. I am a mother of 2, wanting MANY more, and I also work out of the home. It is a very strong desire of mine to be a stay-at-home Mom. Now, is not good timing, as my husband is laid off and it is not as strong of a desire for him. I'm REALLY struggling coming to work every day with some co-workers that are so worldly. My boss goes to church some and prclaims she is a Christian and I'm very thankful for this, but at the same time, she is much more wordly than I am (not that I am an example of a perfect Christian). How do I lead by example when I'm struggling so bad? How can I be happy where I am when my hearts desire is to be at home where God intended for me to be? I just need to be patient for God to open the door to let me stay at home and be thankful I have a job...right?
    Just wanted an honest opinion! :)
    Thanks,
    Elly

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  2. This is something I keep a close eye on, and take advantage of every teachable moment available to me. You are absolutely right. This is tough talk for tough times for our children!! All this stuff is just getting worse. We have to draw the line, teach the Biblical basis, and stick to it!
    Blessings, and thanks for speaking the truth!
    Becky

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  3. I read the same article and then saw the same ad and said the same thing to a woman sitting next to me on the plane! It's insane! I am SO with you on this!

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  4. Bravo for this brave and courageous admonition!

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  5. Very well said. In addition, I also see a lot of mothers dressing seductively and dressing their young daughters the same way. Which is really sad and heartbreaking. Thank you for this very wise, courageous, and honest post.

    Blessings,
    Elizabeth

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  6. I want to say on this matter "Amen "to you.I fear for our children of today.And then the parents want to to know what went wrong?

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  7. I have to agree with Stephanie ~ "BRAVO for this brave and courageous admonition" .. it is so very much needed.

    Blessings!

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  8. I wanted to thank you for this post. Our lil' girl LOVES Barbie. She has 4 Barbie movies, which we have recently decided to descreetly remove from our home ... we got her turned back onto Veggie Tales and 3-2-1 Penguins anyway. I had no idea Barbie was dressed like *that* in the newest movie -- the one our daughter said she really wanted to see next! Nuh uh, ain't no way.

    We've recently had some very strong convictions concerning a lot of areas concerning our daughters. Convictions I'm actually very happy with. I didn't used to have a problem with our daughter having a pair of pants with XOXO on the butt. To wear around the house. But, now, I'm like what in the WORLD was I thinking?! (Granted, *I* didn't buy them -- my mother in law did, but still)
    Or a shirt that said "Flirty Girl" ... why would I want that on our daughter? What sorts of messages do those things send? They, and quite a few other garments, went into a donate or trash (depending on what the garment was) bag and out of our home. We're going to dresses and skirts. Our oldest (who's 5yrs old) LOVES being in dresses ... and my husband pointed out to me that MY self-esteem and how I carry myself is MUCH better when I'm in dresses/skirts. I look forward to finding us more, so we can do it ALL the time, instead of just some days!

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  9. Hi there! I've been reading your blog for a few weeks now. First time posting. :)
    I read this earlier today. Tonight when I walked in my bedroom, my 6 year old daughter was watching Zoey101. I really thought about this post and decided to turn it off.
    My thinking prior to this was ..It's on the Disney channel.. how bad could it be? Pretty bad, maybe.
    Thanks for the "Mom" reminder. I'll definatly be more careful.
    Laura

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  10. I find it so sad that so many parents are allowing these idols to raise their children. If only parents would wake up and just (IMHO) get rid of these influences in their lives. They are neither godly nor even a good influence! Thank you for your post, I enjoyed it very much!

    Blessings,
    Laura

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  11. I have noticed a lot of these "teen idols" popping up everywhere. It is almost impossible to avoid them, for they are plastered all over the clothing (for my TODDLER!) and all the different toys. I have a choice to buy Disney Princess, Hannah Montana, or Dora...only sometimes I doing have the ability to choose Dora. I am determined to make the majority of my daughter's clothes this year and to dress her in modest dresses, just like me.

    Am I the only one who noticed that this post is dated February 14th?

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  12. I so enjoy reading your opinions and insights.

    My mom and I are extremely close and have discussed this very issue and she mentioned that she was always concerned I would be overly influenced by the actions and dress of my peers. This was particularly of concern due to the general demographic of the girls & women where I grew up (Orange County, CA). I thank the Lord that my mom and dad led by example and showed me that it is much more beautiful to take pride in the body and mind that God gave us by dressing modestly and not changing what the good Lord blessed us with. So, no nose job here, no implants, fake tan, pancake makeup, mini skirts, tube tops, or 5" platform shoes for me. And when I felt left out or lacking in my physical appearance I thought warmly of the words of my mom and grandma that they repeated so often, "Do not change what God thoughtfully placed on your body for He has a purpose for it. Love it and embrace it because it is yours."

    To love our bodies should not mean to spend 2 hours getting ready in the morning or showing off every inch of skin, but to keep ourselves healthy and clean and to honor God with our words and actions.

    Blessings to you for guiding your children down the path God has prepared for them in His name.
    -Caroline

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  13. GREAT POST! I read the same article with the same horror and same confusion at the author's and other parent's hopelessness at what to do. How about take CONTROL they are YOUR children. They will not DIE if they don't have these toys or watch these shows.

    My Princesses enjoy dance and The General (my dh) recorded a new dance show that is susposed to be a competition between the whole world. I was HORRIFIED when one of the first contestants came out in a "dress" that barely covered both her front and rear parts and while she "danced" it displayed her thong. Not a dancers leotard, a underwear type thong...which displayed MUCH of her. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! You used to have to PAY women of ill repute a lot of money to get them to do that and they didn't do it in public. Now it seems women are begging to do this for every tom, dick and harry to watch. So much for being empowered and liberated. As a tv commentator recently said "If I hear liberated and empowered women, I know that someone is going to be naked and most likely a slut".

    THIS IS NOT what I want my daughters to be. And to sit there hopeless at the devils onslaught is to throw them to the wolves!

    I don't allow this in my house, I will answer for what I put before my children and it is hard enough as it is. Thanks for the post and the sweet tone it was written in.

    Hope you feel better!

    Many Blessings :)
    Ace

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  14. Mrs. Fuentes,

    I must ask, from which website to you procure the lovely paintings that you use on your webiste? I recognize and love many of them. They are beautiful, and compliment your writings well!

    Thank you for your time!

    MutheringHeights@gmail.com

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  15. This is SO needed and SO spot on; I am very aware of what glittery, singing, pretty faced teen idols can do to my young children as I see it on others which for one can result in 6 year olds acting like 14 year olds! WE need to win their hearts NOT them...not matter how catchy their music is!!

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  16. First of I want to say how much I love your blog. My 4 yr old, almost 5 yr old daughter has been infatuated with Hannah Montana (HM) for a while now. The other day I heard her repeating something and found out it came from HM or the show rather... she mainly watches it at her grandparents house. I have banned her from watching the show and I told the grandparents no more HM. I explained to my daughter that we do not speak that way and why.

    My curiosity got the best of me and I sat an watched it one night while she was elsewhere. I was shocked! 14 year old girls dressing and and acting like 25 year olds! Even at 25 I wouldn't wear such as that.

    You are so right, we have to be very careful for our daughters sake!

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  17. Amen, Amen, and Amen!!! Our daughters are worth so much more!!! If, no when i ere ,i pray it will be on the side of caution and not permissible parenting. I KNOw dangers unfortunately. Please Mothers ,protect and love and enjoy your precious gifts. Thank you so much for this post.tammyp

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  18. Amen! If we could only teach them all that they are precious daughters of God. If they only could understand their Divine Nature.
    We have five daughters and two sons. Sadly the two oldest girls have chosen poorly, but the other three are more sure of their identity, and their eternal role.
    Thank you for this beautiful post.

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  19. I have long been shocked by the sorts of things we expose our daughters to--and at SUCH a young age! Of course, there is practically no way to shelter them from this stuff completely, but there is a big difference between a friend sharing a Hannah Montana CD with your daughter and buying your own 5 year old a Bratz doll! In fact, all of this "teen idol" saturation among elementary school girls is one of the reasons I am so eager to homeschool my daugther when she's older.
    ~Bethany

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  20. Hello Mrs. Fuentes,
    I have been reading your blog for several weeks now and have enjoyed each post. If you don't mind, I'd like to get your opinion on a news item that's troubling me today. I don't wan't to hijack your comment section; is there another way for me to contact you? My email is juliaannweston@gmail.com.

    Thanks for the post above; I have a 4-month old daughter and your words really struck a chord...

    Julia

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  21. *applause*

    Thank you for speaking up! We certainly agree!!

    (daughter of Lady Dorothy from Daffodil Dreams)

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  22. Very well said. I share your concern.

    When Brittney Spears was dating Kevin Federline and it was made known that he had already fathered 2 children by two girls (to young to be called women)--I thought surely her Mother would talk some sense into her--but NO. And then the stories of Lindsay Lohan's Mother taking her barely legal aged son out to clubs to drink and do drugs with him!

    It's little wonder some of these kids go astray and are so lost because, where in fact, are the Mothers? Even teen stars under contract with the Disney Channel aren't immune to scandal.

    My sister has a hard time buying modest clothing for her 11-year old daughter. If you want to dress them with words across their butt and shirts that bare their mid-driff--you can find it. But if you want tops that actually cover up their belly--it's hard to find. And finding a dress? Forget it--the only time stores carry a dress in her size is at Easter. And skirts?--we've learned to make them so as to avoid mini-skirts--that's all that's in the stores.

    And it's not just a problem limited to girls. I used to tell my now grown son that his body wasn't a living billboard. That if he wanted to make a statement in how he dressed it should be HIS statement and not that of designers. Now he uses that very same line with his own son!

    Blessings,

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  23. I don't know what a "cheetah girl" is, but I agree with the point of your post.

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  24. Amen! What damage these shows can do! We don't allow Barbie, Bratz, Hannah Montana or High School Musical in our home. We try to provide more moral or godly alternatives. But, we do find our daughters occasionally influenced in a 2nd hand manner(even by a friend's drawings!)via others exposed to these fads.
    I wrote an article recently on my own blog against Hannah Montana and similar fads that seek to destroy childhood as we remember it.
    Claire

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  25. Mrs. Fuentes,
    I was at the mall with my fiance and we stopped in front of the Limited Too (a pre-teen clothing store). We're reevaluating our relationship as Christians and we were discussing what we would and would not allow our children to wear. We took one look at the clothing on display and my fiance said "No. Our daughter will not wear clothing like that. It's too provocative. I don't want my child to try to look and act like adult S*x objects." A woman passing, stopped us and said, " Thank you! It makes me feel so good to hear a young couple take a stance like this. God bless!" It was a brief interaction, but it really touched us. It reminded me of you.
    Thanks for such a great post!

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  26. Dear Elly,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to share what you are going through right now.

    I know it must be hard to want to do what you feel is right in your heart and unable to do it. That is okay, because God put those feelings in your heart to want to stay home, raise children and be a homemaker.

    Since you are not in that position right now, here is what I advise:

    1. Be content where God has placed you. God is teaching you right where you are right now. Use this time wisely and serve Him right where you are at.

    2. Trust God for His timing and His plans (whether you come home or not or having more children).

    3. Share with your husband, in a godly way, your desires and see if there is a way to eventually work on bringing you home (like he gets a new job that can support the family).

    4. Meanwhile, continue to petition God to bring you home and make the best of the situation. This is living out your faith as you trust His hand in your life.

    There are many examples of people in the Bible who were in a position they did not want to be in---like Moses, Jonah, and Job to name a few. I recommend reading their stories for encouragement. and wisdom.

    I hope that helps!

    Many blessings...

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  27. Well said. Every godly family must take to heart all these before the Devil destroy our home.

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  28. Hello!

    This is to thank you for the lovely encouragement I have been receiving from this blog since I found it in late 2008. It is the first Christian one that I felt right about. Thank you very much. I cherish also the lovely images that grace the pages. Together with the texsts they all send a unified message. The reason I am writing today is to congratulate on the new background, it is very beautiful.

    A week ago I found myself in a stressful situation spending a week in a ski-resort in Finnish Lapland with my husband's relatives. We lived closely in a nice cabin. On several days I felt saved from the chaos by the peace God poured on me as I visited your site at the public computers of the resort. The others are not professing Christians and there was a lot of tension between various people. God used this blog and it's archives to put my heart at peace in a difficult time.

    God bless your home!

    I hope you'll be able to keep on posting.

    Love,

    Kirsti

    P.S. Greetings from snow-white Finland.

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  29. I don't have children of my own yet, but I agree with your post 100%! When I go to the clothes stores, I see some of the fashions that they have for little girls and I think, "That looks like something made for a woman to wear!" Even worse, some of the fashions for little girls are not appropriate for a little girl or a "big girl."

    It's a very sad situation. I wish people would open their eyes and see the truth behind the "so-called" fads of the world.

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  30. I totally agree with you, and it makes me sad to see parents (even those in full time ministry) who let there girls wear Hannah Montana clothing. Incidently, I was cutting out coupons the other day out of the Sunday paper and came upon a Lever 2000 soap coupon. The coupon had a side view picture of a woman from the hips and down washing herself in the shower. It showed the side of her butt and was very suggestive. I just got through contacting Unilever products and registered a complaint. I think it's sad that sexual content is pushed in the media, but does it have to be on coupons as well? Thanks for being a voice.
    Thanks,
    Michelle

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  31. I grew up in a home where all three of us girls often received a barbie doll for Christmas. I don't believe my parents had proper discernment because we rarely read scriptures at our home. We can only know the proper way to help our children to come to know the Lord by keeping his or her heart in love and truth of Scripture.

    By giving a child a mean looking bad-guy creature or power rangers creature or giving a girl excessive fake beauty supplies....we can expect to loose our children to the world. Our main priority should be to keep our children's hearts for God.

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  32. I couldn't agree more! Thank you for this wonderful post!

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  33. It is because to many parents these days would rather be friends with their kids than be parents that is why you will see the mothers and the dads dressing more like the kids than dressing appropriately for their maturity

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  34. I feel the same. My daughter wants to watch disney channel and for this reason i am cutting off my cable.

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  35. It is not just these types of shows that we need to protect them from - we need to live by example and not let our eyes fall upon such wickedness that is seen in ALL movies / sitcoms.

    Don't bother to take away HM and what not unless you are willing to take away the shows that are filled with wickedness yourselves.

    Children spot hypocrisy a mile away.

    The best solution is to draw the line in the sand and get rid of the TV full stop.

    Then you might have some ground to stand on.

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  36. I know that this is a old post but I had to add my two cents in...
    This is why I home school my kids.. this is why there is no Tv in the house.. Movies are picked out by me.. and turned off if I find them unbecoming to young adults... Their father and I both are very open to what happens to young ladies who dress and act that way... and to the boys that marry them!

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