Tuesday, May 15, 2007

In Over Our Heads

Why do women take on more than they can handle in the name of 'ministry'?

Could it possibly be that they do not realize that they are running themselves into the ground and taking their families along with them?

Wait, let me correct that, they don't always take them with them----many times they are left behind. Husbands left to cook and clean for themselves, children left neglected, homes uncared for--- all in the name of Jesus!

Yes, you see, because there are many Bible studies to go to, woman's retreats to attend, Sunday schools to teach and so forth. There are prayer meetings to attend and the womens conference that can't be missed all the while hubby has barely seen his wife for days. The children don't mind being abandoned...after all you're doing it all for the Lord.

How can we watch over our homes as scriptures upholds if we are never there? How will we know the state of our children's hearts if we are never with them and always 'chasing' after godly pursuits? Wives today seem to have forgotten what God has ordained as their most significant role.

So if you are running all over town and neglecting your home, marriage and children, please know that it doesn't glorify the Lord. Let us remember to not confuse activity with accomplishment. We must stop the madness, come back to our senses and return home to our families.

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good and not harm all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11


  1. Frankly, the leadership of the church or ministry is often to blame. In my experience, they look at a successful wife and mother and think that since she is not bothered by having a "real job," she is available to serve at every function. And once she agrees to do one thing, it becomes very hard to say no, because, if she doesn't do it, it won't get done, and people won't hear the gospel! or whatever the favorite excuse is. Burnout is preventable. The leadership of churches and ministries should be careful in what they expect their volunteers to do, because they are responsible for the pressure they put on others.

  2. This is a good reminder. I think their is pressure as a SAHM and in my case as the Pastor's wife to be at absolutely every church activity! I admit most of the pressure of the latter is from myself. However, it is a delicate balance. I always try to remind myself that my most important ministry is my family.

  3. I agree with that previous post. I have felt myself the preasure to do allot in the church because I am a stay at home mom. I know we have a small church and I love to teach but right now my husband is in school and working 50 hours a week on top of that. It has become a burden and when I try to get away from it I am made to feel guilty by people who will not take no for an answer.

  4. In my growing-up church the most important thing for all adults was to make it to every meeting of the church no matter what. My parents were gone 5-6 nights a week and I was (very stressfully) taking care of my 3 younger siblings from the age of 9, alone at home at night. Most other families were doing the same -- it's no wonder that most of the kids of my generation left the church or got into unhealthy relationships. I think many just wanted to feel loved and taken care of.

    Kids will feel in their hearts that they can never compete with Jesus (or a facsimile of Jesus-activity created by the church). But they desperately need their loving parents and especially their mothers at home with them. I know I did.

  5. This is such a timely post. I have been avoiding many "ladie's" gatherings because it seems that they do take away from my calling as a mother. I especially dislike the term "Mom's night out." I think my eyes bugged out of my head when my last church ladie's group held a slumber party! There are many ways for a mother to relax and refresh, and they don't need to be at the expense of the family she is called to care for. An early morning quiet time, a hot bath after the kids are in bed, etc. It can be done, and I fully believe God provides all the encouragement and refreshment we need.

  6. Well written. Nicki, I hear you. I have been avoiding such 'mom's night out' as well. One of the recent gatherings was to bring your own beauty secret ... seriously? Not sure how that lines up with anything Biblical in terms of your home/family/serving your children and husband...

  7. Love this post! Well said! Bravo for expressing what God puts on your heart without apology! Halleluia!

  8. Short and right on the spot!!! Great reminder!!!


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