Thursday, November 18, 2010

Ask Your Husband

Many times, as women, we will have a 'problem' and then look everywhere to find a solution.

We will search high....

and low.

We will ask our girlfriends.

We will write complete strangers in magazines and newspapers.

We will even ask on other people's blogs.

or sometimes even on Facebook.

We might even do a google search...:)

And we forget to ask our husbands!

The very man that God has placed in our lives to give us wisdom and direction!

When I was a young Christian I was fortunate to have a mentor always ask me "have you asked your husband?" ...

At first, I thought it to be strange. Ask my husband? What does he have to do with it???

But she was right by always pointing me to him. And the great thing was that she would always tell me her stories about asking her husband--(yes, there are women that actually do this!) What an example!

So what did I do? Well, I started to ask my husband. And something special started to happen---I could tell that he felt more respected since I wanted his opinion. I didn't have to go to the Pastor, the pastor's wife or my Bible study, just Him. And the Lord used him mightily to give me the answers that I needed AND to teach me a thing or two about humility and deferring to him. The more questions I asked, the better he got at answering them too. He knew I valued his opinion and would try to answer the best that he could.

So next time---ask your husband!

And see what the Lord will do through him...

(Note: I am not referring to those who occasionally ask for advice, as it is good to get wise counsel-- but to those that might always ask others or valuing their opinion more, never thinking twice of asking their husbands first.)

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Shonni said...


Mrs. Stam said...

love this post! Amen!!!

Grace said...

Hehe, I am not married yet, (if be God's will I hope to be, when I am older:), but I will definitely keep this chiseled in stone!:)
Thank you for sharing!
Many Blessings,

Mom of 5 said...

I totally agree! My husband knows me better than anyone else and knows my situation at home as well. What a perfect person to go to for guidance :) Great post!

Sharon said...

I love this June. When I ask my husband, I not only show my respect for him, I discover that God gives him amazing answers and works through his answers in ways I cannot imagine.

Jenny said...

Gos has given our 'better half' a measure of wisdom that we could never have. It's amazing how they see things. And yes, it does build him up and make him feel respected. This is one of the simplest ways of making your marriage stronger.

Jasmine said...

I completely agree. Referring to my husband has helped our marriage, and guided me in making the best possible decisions.

Thanks, June.

Regina said...

This is where I usually start with matter how big or small. ;)

Nadene said...

A husband grows in so many ways when we defer to him, refer to him and honour him.
I agree that when a husband believes that his wife wants (and needs) his counsel, that he takes up his rightful place as prophet, priest and king of his household.
I can say in all honesty that my hubbyis my best friend, my soul mate and my heart-love!

Anonymous said...

June, I loved this post! It does show a great deal of respect for our husbands to know we value their opinion above others. Some of the best conversations between my husband and I have come about from asking his opinion. Great Post!

Kela said...

This is very timely! It was just last night that I spoke with him second (God was first)about an issue that I was dealing with.

It was freeing to be allowed to be open with him.

This also opened the door for him to specifically pray for me!

Mrs. P. said...

EXCELLENT point. I ended up doing a post related to this one due to a lesson I recently learned in my own marriage about not just asking our husbands for help, but not expecting to be able to dump all of our problems and complaints on them and expecting them NOT to help and just be an empathic listening ear like one of our girlfriends.

Mrs. Beale said...

I have been married 28 years to a very sweet, yet quiet man. *What do you do when everytime I go to him and ask a question...a question about anything-scripture, our son's education, finances, how to fix something that broke around the house, how to handle certain relationship problems, etc--it doesn't matter...I get the same response--"I don't know." He isn't mean spirited about it. He just says, "I don't know."

Though this has been frustrating many times in our 28 years. I have come to grips with the fact that my husband does not like to talk, nor does he like making decisions.

I have asked God--How can a marriage like this bring Him glory? And, of course, He answers. God is glorified with my obedience than my having my expectations of what a "Christian" husband is supposed to be met.

God leads me through His Word and His Spirit in my daily decision making...of which, my husband is always pleased. I know that my husband is pleased with our marriage and he loves me very much. He tells me all the time.

I have had to make adjustments... Like having a very quiet dinner table..My husband believes the dinner table is for eating not conversation. He doesn't mind everyone else talking...just don't ask him to join in. So, I invite guests over for supper a couple times a month..I have my conversations.

If something needs to be fixed around the house...I go online and find out how and then my son and I just fix it. Seth is getting training and there is peace in our home.

Anyway, I guess I just do not fit in the 'ask your husband' category. Is there anything wrong with this? I am truly not trying to undermine my husband...I have just adjusted to him and his ways.

God has been so close and sweet to me all through this journey of our marriage. I no longer yell and fuss or carry on. He no longer feels inferior to others. I guess I have learned, at least in my world, that in the background of our little home and life--quiet obedience pays off...even if I no longer ask my husband anything.

Michelle said...

Yes!! My husband has offered some of the best advice and the clearest perspectives on things when my thinking becomes muddied and indecision sets in!

Not only is this important for seeking advice, but if we first go to other people, (after praying to the Lord) on these matters, what can end up happening is unwanted disunity due to the fact that our husbands might desire and think differently on something than that online friend, etc. By acting on someone else's advice first, we may unwittingly be doing something contrary to our husband's wishes!

"C" is for many things said...

That is a great point! Another thing I have been struggling to change this year is not speaking for my husband. Like when someone asks me if we want to come over for dinner, I used to say "sure we'll be there" instead of asking my husband first. :S I was trying to be the leader and manager of him. Thankfully this was pointed out to me and I catch myself doing it somethimes but now I remember to ask him first.

Amy said...

Wonderful post! Thanks so much!

gail said...

Great wisdom here. It's something I have neglected to do and I thank you for your these words. My husband loves it when I show him respect and ask him for his opinion or advise. It always blesses our marraige when I do.

Blessings Gail

Mrs. Mobunny said...

Don't ask just so you can say 'no' to his answer either. Learn to take his advice and do what he thinks is best.

Happy Homemaker And Momma said...

Would you be willing to guest post this over at my blog? I would love it and maybe it would encourage a few other's that read my blog:)

Oh and if your interested I have a Marie Madeline Studios Fat Quarter Bundle Giveaway going on until 12-5

Thank you so much for being an inspiration and for helping to keep our heads out of the "clouds"!

God Bless your family and have a wonderful Sunday Service!

Louisa McFarland said...

Great post, as always. My husband is very commanding, and I am very independant, so this has been a hard lesson for me to learn but Something that I have learned over the years is that going to ask somebody else, pastor, friend etc, is that it is a type of adultery. We women are commanded in scripture to ask our husbands, sometimes he will have the answer, sometimes he will say ask somebody else. But if we go without asking him first we are in sin.

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