Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Loving Daughters


The Bible tells us this about daughters in Psalm 144:12-13,
“That our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: that our garners may be full.”

As corner-stones, polished after the similitude of palace, God desires that our daughters grow up to become strong and beautiful ~ and adorned with all the ornaments belonging to their sex. What are the “ornaments” that the Bible teaches belong to the female sex? Titus 2:4-5 describes them as: soberness, love for family, discretion, purity, excellent housekeeping, goodness, and submission to authority.

That’s a tall order, isn’t it? And the reason that it is so important that our daughters be taught and trained in these areas is because (as the Treasury of David so wisely puts it), “Daughters unite families as corner stones join walls together, and at the same time, they adorn them as polished stones garnishing the structure into which they are builded.”

Daughters are an important part of every family, and it is our duty to teach them how to be a blessing to our families now so that they will understand how to be a blessing to the family they will marry into later on.

Matthew Henry writes, “That our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace or temple. By daughters families are united and connected to their mutual strength, as the parts of a building are by the cornerstones; and when they are graceful and beautiful both in body and mind, they are then polished after the similitude of a nice and curious structure. When we see our daughters well established, and stayed with wisdom and discretion, as cornerstones are fastened in the building; when we see them by faith united to Christ, as the chief cornerstone, adorned with the graces of God's Spirit, which are the polishing of that which is naturally rough, and "become women professing godliness"; when we see them purified and consecrated to God as living temples, we think ourselves happy in them.”

So, how are we to go about accomplishing so great a task?

First of all, we must remember that daughters have a great need for love and security.

1. Daughters need to be treated with kindness.

2. Daughters feel loved when we are patient with them.

3. A critical spirit is a destructive thing to a daughter’s spirit ~ it causes her to feel insecure about who she is and what she is able to do.

4. Comparison also causes daughters to feel insecure about themselves. Daughters are in desperate need of acceptance in order to become the polished corner stone of the family that God desires them to be.

5. It’s a mothers job to identify the special needs that her daughter has and help her to overcome or practically accommodate them.

6. Mothers must be careful not attribute motives, nor take offense, lose patience, or take the ridiculous things that daughters do too personally.

7. Mothers must remember that daughters need to be raised in a happy, loving home in order to feel totally secure. No amount of love, compliments or kindness will make up for the fear that is brought into a daughter’s heart by marital strife or divorce.

Secondly, daughters need to be taught to control their emotions.

1. Whining, gossiping and complaining should not be tolerated. Make every effort to train your daughter to be sensible by teaching her how to be thankful, patient and kind as she deals with her every day issues of life.

2. Emotions must be taught to follow and not allowed to lead. The best teacher is example. Make it your goal to be a good example of this so that your daughter can “see” how this is done.

3. Daughters must be taught that they may not use their “hormones” as an excuse for sin!

4. Teach your daughter how to manage her tears. There is a time for tears ~ when they are hurt, when someone they know or see is seriously injured or dies. But crying is not something that should continue on and on ~ they should be short and brief. Even in the case of death of a loved one: there is a time to cry, and there is a time to cease from crying.

5. The same goes for silliness. Giggling and acting giddy is fine at times, but too much of it makes a girl ridiculous.

Thirdly, daughters must be raised to embrace their femininity.

1. Daughters should be taught to be home-centered. They should be encouraged to love working with their hands ~ both in housework and handiwork.

2. Daughters should be encouraged to wear dresses, fix their hair and want to look pretty.

a. However, we must be diligent to encourage them to be MODEST and pretty. The female body is a beautiful creation of God and modesty teaches them that it is a precious thing that must be saved for their future husband (and not the whole world) to enjoy.

b. We also must be careful not to raise our daughters to be too prissy or “primadonas” who only a mother and father is able to tolerate and love :).

3. Daughters must be encouraged to play with toys that will encourage her to home-centered and not bedroom-centered.

4. Daughters must be taught and trained how to respond to the men around them.

a. Daughters have a God given need for male attention. Teach them when they are little how to love and serve Dad, so that Dad will enjoy being around them.

b. Teach your daughter how to respect her Dad and brothers. This is will prepare her to enjoy good success when she is married to her own man later on.

Mothers are the role models for their daughters, and it is important that we realize that we are teaching our daughters every day by the way we live. As Christian mothers, it is vital that we commit ourselves to living as the godly women that we would want our daughters to grow up to become. This is a tall order, but one which is certainly possible as we grow in the grace and knowledge of our loving God.





Another great article by Mrs. Julie Fink @ Lessons for Ladies

Visit her blog and be blessed by her Bible Studies!

25 comments:

  1. Wow! Awesome! Thank you for these reminders today!
    Courtney
    http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you SO MUCH for posting this!! I'm having trouble correcting my niece (whom I am raising) regarding over-silliness without being harsh when I do so. This very topic was on my mind when I clicked over to your blog and saw this post! That's no coincidence. :)

    ~Vikki
    www.a-firm-foundation.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonderful i am going to print this out....I am praying that I will be a good mother to my daughter. She is such a blessing to me ~Love Heather

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for this! I have a young daughter and am always looking for guidance on how to be a good example for her. I am a little confused on point 4-a (...Teach them when they are little how to love and serve Dad, so that Dad will enjoy being around them.) As her father, shouldn't Dad enjoy being around his children without them having to behave a certain way? Aren't we called as parents to love our children without condition? Maybe I am misunderstanding the point.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This was great. Thank you. I have three little girls and I sure needed guidance like this.
    Love, Rosemi

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great post! We are continually convicted and challenged about raising our daughters in a Christ honoring way. Messages such as your blog let us know we are not the only ones desiring this for our daughters!

    ReplyDelete
  7. And...I think daughters need to be loved and adored by their dad's...so they know what to expect in a husband! :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm having trouble with my 11 year old daughter. She is at a very rude and crude stage and since all her friends act the same way it is difficult to get her to see the sense in what I'm trying to teach her. I'm praying that God will put the desire in both my daughters hearts to be schooled at home but right now I know all I would meet is resistance. Thank you for the post though. It's through yours and others that I have had my eyes opened (a little late) to the Godly attributes that should follow us as Christian wives and mothers. I wish I would have gotten all of this before I had children!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hello!
    My name is Bethany Ward. I am 13 years old, and the oldest of six children in my Mother and Father's home. I and my Mother both read your posts and are very encouraged by them. I have also been to your daughters blog as well.
    I publish a magazine for young girls,called Hearts for God, to help encourage them in their femininity and walk with Christ. I have been looking for good pictures/article for it, and pictures for my blog, which is http://heartsforgodmagazine.blogspot.com I was woundering if I could use some of your pictures and/or some of your articles in my magazine. Thank you so much for your ministry in the Lord, may he bless you!
    Bethany Ward
    P.S. To contact me, please leave a comment on my blog : http://heartsforgodmagazine.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you for the point specific post ~ a good list of reminders, as we train our daughters in they way they "SHOULD" go. It reminds me of my favorite quote in Stepping Heavenward by Mrs. E. Prentiss:

    "My darling precious children! For their sakes I am continually constrained to seek after an amended, a sanctified life; what I want them to become I must become myself."

    Blessings ~

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey there sister. I LOVED this write up and was wondering if you would be willing to give me permission to re-post it on my blog joyfulhelpmeet. I can be reached at clarinetlaj@gmail.com
    in CHRIST
    amanda

    ReplyDelete
  12. You share such wisdom about mothering, I wish I had it all in a book!

    Blessings,
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  13. God has greatly gifted you
    I enjoyed visiting your blog
    God Bless;

    http://westbob.blogspot.com/2010/02/encourager-part-1.html

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you for this, it's exciting to have ideas and goals as I raise my little daughter.

    p.s. Where do you get all the pictures for your blog? I love these Victorian scenes!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I can't wait to sit, with a cup of tea and my laptop and read through the wealth of inspriration I know I will find on your blog! And HOW LOVELY! Thank you for doing this!

    I just posted a Valentine's Day "Story Time" on my blog and I would love to hear your story of how you met your husband? Would you consider visiting and sharing with us? I'm sure it will be a GREAT blessing to many!

    Peace of the Lord,
    Cheryl

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am not certain that teaching daughters to repress tears after they have cried for the minimum amount of time that is "acceptable" is emotionally healthy. I know that when I was growing up, I was always told "control your emotions" and because of this, I grew up to suffer anxiety attacks from holding in my feelings. I was punished for them so I'm a little iffy on teaching my daughter that she may only cry for a certain amount of time.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm happily married to a Steve, too. I have two daughters who I am trying to raise for the Lord and four sons.

    I loved what this post had to say!

    Blessings,
    Stacie

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thank you so much for letting me use the photos and articles...I will be sure and state were I got them, names of writters etc. May God bless you and your family!
    Bethany Ward

    ReplyDelete
  19. Beautifully shared, a wonderful guide, and much needed...
    Thanks,
    Sheri

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thank you for this encouraging and challenging post! I am printing it out and keeping it in my prayer journal for reference. God is using your blog in my life, thank you for sharing your wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I have two daughters...one teenager and one preschooler and this was a very informative read. Thank you!!

    BTW, there is an award on my blog for you.

    http://mommyoffive4him.blogspot.com/2010/02/my-first-blog-award-sunshine-award.html

    ReplyDelete
  22. Love your blog! New to it...but so fitting! I'm due in 5 weeks with my 1st and need ALL the help I can get! Will be back to learn all I can!

    ReplyDelete
  23. That is my prayer for my life and I'm blessed to have a mother who desires and prays that for me.

    In Christ,
    Shelby

    ReplyDelete
  24. Can it ever be too late? My daughter is turning 16 in December, she can cook and sometimes will bake, but... as we live on a farm she loves to go out with dad, to drive a tractor, to be between the cattle. I never stopped it, because as a child I thoroughly enjoyed going out with my farmer-dad too.
    But I loved wearing dresses, I followed a needlework course and am a stay-at-home HS mother of 4.
    My daughter on the other side hates dresses. She doesn't want to learn any needlework, although she is fond of plants and gardening.

    Can one change these attitudes at this age? And then, what about her personality and interests? Shouldn't she pursue it too?

    Hope to find answers....as we have only this one daughter (our oldest child)

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment! Each and every single one of you are welcomed here with open arms. I love to hear from you so feel free to share what is on your heart.

I look forward to hearing from you!