"It's not the stuff of fairytales; it's the stuff of war. True love is about bone-weary battles against our flesh, endless determination, and desperate cries to the General in the darkest nights. Love is many things, but "easy" is not one of them.
Now hatred, on the other hand, comes easily. It's not pretty or socially acceptable, but it is easy. Hatred is a reflex to injured pride, trampled dreams, and the wrongs we suffer. Cross me twice, and I can almost feel my heart harden. Can you relate?
Growing up, my mom explained it with the phrase, "Closing your spirit." She used to say, "It's so easy to close your spirit to others, Jeanne. But I promised God I would never close my spirit to my husband or my kids." I imagined her "spirit" was like a little door on her heart. Bam! Slammed shut!
When I got married I thought the promise was unnecessary. Of course, I'll never close my spirit to him! Why would I? I love him! But then the misunderstandings, disappointments, and resentment piled up along with the dirty dishes and laundry. Bam! I wanted to slam the door of my heart in his face! Bam! Bam! Bam!"