5 Ways to Build a Better Marriage

Today we have a guest post by Jaime Like a Bubbling Brook:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

~Proverbs 18:21

I know you've witnessed it.

Maybe you've been guilty of it a time or two.

It's an awkward moment when we overhear wives mutter and complain about their husbands:  

“What’s wrong with you?” 
 “You’re lazy.” 
 “Why didn’t you do ______ right?”
 “You spent too much money on that.”
 “You should be more spiritual.”

These critiques make me wince inside.

I've been there before and I've learned hard lessons.

 Marriage is not sent to the grave all at once, but by a series of little digs.  You can build up or tear down.  You can speak life into it or use your words to pave the road to a slow and painful death.

 I wonder if we are murdering marriage with our complaining. Murdering our own marriages, yes, but perhaps even graver than that - are we murdering marriage for upcoming generations? When they see my marriage, your marriage, will they be blessed by it or repelled by it?

I want my children to see marriage as a blessing, not a curse; a beautiful expression of God's grace toward us, not a ball-and-chain that weighs us down. Our children are watching us.

What do they see?


  HERE ARE FIVE WAYS YOU CAN BUILD A BETTER MARRIAGE:

1. Use your words to pray for your husband.  Speak life.  Pray out loud.  Don't be afraid for your children to hear you pray; rather, model it for them.
2. Compliment your husband.  When you feel the urge to make a negative comment, counter it with a positive one.  Find the silver lining.  I once heard a woman complain about what terrible job her husband did when he cleaned, instead of being thankful that he helped clean at all!  It's about perspective.
3. Teach your children about God-honoring marriage.  Draw out examples from your own marriage, and also look for examples to share from within your local church.  Seek out older, wiser couples.  Tell the stories of how God was faithful and brought you through hard times.  It will teach your children life-giving truths and encourage you in the process.
4. Fight fair.  Don't tear down your husband in front of your children and expect them to respect him.  Handle conflicts privately as much as possible, and when it's not possible, use those times to model how to disagree respectfully.  You have each other's best interests at heart, even if you don't see things the same way.
5. Be aware of the greatest barrier to marital intimacy, and be intentional about pacing yourself.  Do your best to avoid burn-out.  Rest and recharge yourself; you can't give your best to your husband and children when you are spent yourself.

What are your tips for cultivating a Godly marriage?  

How do you exemplify it to your children?

Jaime is the creator of Like a Bubbling Brook, a blog about intentional, inspired homemaking, spending money wisely, and cooking real foods at home.  She's a pastor's wife and mom who lives life in awe of the grace of God, as He has carried them through infertility, job loss, illness, and other trying seasons.  She loves encouraging young moms and drinking a mug of steaming white mocha on a cold, snowy day.

Photo credit: GrrLash via Foter.com / CC BY-ND