Thursday, September 12, 2013

Will You Fight for Your Home?

I often get letters from some of my readers sharing the battles that they have in their homes. It can be battles of wayward children, a distant husband, financial meltdown, challenging circumstances, or the like. I think about these cries for help and my heart and prayers goes out to each and every one of them. Believe me, I have cried along with you as I have read some of them.

The hard question I am going to ask you is this--"Will you fight for your home?"

Are you willing?

To fight for those you love most?

To fight for the generation that is not yet here?

I know that you are tired, exhausted, and can't seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel. There doesn't seem to be hope and you feel all alone. But you need to know that it is worth the fight. 

We forget that this world is not a playground, but a battleground. We are waging war daily in the spiritual realm.

 "For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."--Ephesian 6:12

 We cannot see with our human eyes what is fully going on in the spiritual realm. We need to remember that one person, who has a heart to follow the Lord, and the choices that they make can make a difference. God makes the difference.

The result is that He can turns lives around.

He can change hearts.

He can make marriages whole.

He can restore.

He can replace destructive cycles.

He can change the future.

With that I say CHASE AFTER that wayward or rebellious child that you want to give up on. FIGHT the battle for their heart. FIGHT the battle to win their soul for Christ. FIGHT until there is nothing left in you and then get up and fight some more. Then, when you are at the end of your rope, cry out for God to help you again and give you strength. Trust me, He will be faithful to give it.

And that husband? Your broken marriage? Be prayer warriors, stand on the front-lines and in the gap on behalf of your relationship. Petition the Lord to work in ways that you cannot. And then be there, BE CHRIST TO HIM in your marriage, even when it is hard--especially then. And when your pride screams at you to just give up and leave---you will stay because you know that the battle is His and not yours. You will stand steadfast on the front lines for you family, even to the point of death (dying to self).

Dear friend, you are not alone.

It is worth every tear shed. 



And don't give up.

 **Note: Difficult  situations require biblical counseling and I highly recommend for you seek help from your pastor at church. 

Encouraged here?

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Please also check out my book True Christian Motherhood.


Jacinda Vandenberg said...

I love this post, June! Family is always worth fighting for, no matter what the cost. Thank-you for the precious reminder.

Shan Walker said...

This is a wonderful post my dear sister in Christ. One that is very near to my heart. I have been very thoughtful about this very thing. Love it when as Christians we are far apart geographically but can stand together:


Sarah Spitz said...

Thank you for your warm and wise words.
I consider becoming a Catholic and am grateful for any insights into Christian life.

Love from Europe,


Yvonne Johnson said...

Thank you for sharing, there have been time in the past that I have wanted to give up. At those time I have cry out to god for help, and I have felt like there was no hope. But with God's help there is hope. The verse I say to myself is Psalm 121: 1,2 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

peepytweep said...

Great post. I just came out of a time of fighting for my home. Sometimes all I had was a tiny whisper in my heart saying, No this will not be my family,no. A wonderful Reverend and his wife gave my husband and I the right Word of God, the right scripture. I am ever so thankful that I listened to that little whisper because my life is the sweetest it has ever been. We are expecting our third daughter any day now and are celebrating 10 years of marriage. God never says there will be no challenges but promises us he will provide a way to escape.

Brandy said...

This is such a wonderful post... I had a great grandmother who prayed for future generations. We are still seeing prayers answered. It is so important to pray, to really petition the Lord over your husband and children!

Jan said...

Amen! We have become far too complacent in how we protect our families. I agree with everything you said. But, I have a friend who has done all these things and her husband still pursued the divorce (which has caused immeasurable pain). For those who have done all the Biblical things and still suffered, it is so hard to help them. I know it is all God's plan and will and that she is blameless in His eyes because she did fight and stay true to her vows. But, I still feel at a loss for speaking mercy to her heart.

Christy Johnson said...

I soooo agree! We live in such a "feel good" culture now, that choosing the difficult path is going against the grain. It's easier to just give up. But as we look in the Word, it's clear He calls us to sometimes fight, and walk through difficult situations that are NOT comfortable...doing the battle to take our ground, families, and prayerfully culture back to God. Thank you for your encouragement!

Maria said...

Thank you for a wonderfully inspiring and encouraging post!


Anonymous said...

He makes all things new. Beautiful, encouraging, timely post.

tammy cordery said...

thank you for the wonderful post. The devil is trying to take our home. He has been trying for such a long time. Every time we have enough money to pay on our home something happens and we have to pay for that instead. I was just going to give up then your post came to be. How did you know to put this post in my heart.

tammy cordery said...

Thank you for the wonderful post. The devil is trying to take our house. Everytime time we have enough money to pay on the house something happens that we have to pay for them we can't pay for it. I was ready to give up but your post gave my heart wings again and maybe God is telling me don't give up. I am there.

mamaof3 said...

Hey there I was hoping that you could give me some advice? Lately I have been feeling bitter toward my husband. And I haven't been treating him very nicely. I think part of it is that I wish he would pay more attention to me romantically our private life is pretty much dead and that makes me sad! So I get angry with him because it hurts me that he doesn't want me. So then Im nasty to him. I also have a special needs child that drives me crazy 24/7 and I feel like Im always yelling which my husband hates. Do you have any advice on how to make things better? Please pray for me if nothing else! I really need that now. Thanks Kathryn

Kelley Lawrence Forrester said...

WOW!! Talk about hitting home! This really spoke to me. We have been having a hard last few months, and my children have been having MAJOR problems. Since July 16th we've had 10 people die in our family. My ex-husband’s girlfriend has been molesting and raping my 13 year old son, who was 12 at the time (turned 13 in July) for the last several months as well as giving him alcohol all the time. He ran away from his dad twice and was severely punished, and his dad is accusing him of stealing his girlfriend and making David feel like it's his fault. He ran away from his dad twice and the last time he was found DFACS told me to come get him so I did. I got temporary emergency custody with the help of a friend and enrolled him in school, and was trying to get counseling started. He was being made fun of so badly at school because of what's been going on, that he took out his anger and frustration by busting out the neighbors windows, so he was taken to jail. He was in YDC from 8-10-13 and got out 9-11-13. Meanwhile, throughout all of this, his Dad keeps calling and threatening me. He says he is getting David back as soon as he gets out of YDC, as well as our 10 year old daughter Abby. He said he can't afford to pay me child support, even though I begged him to let David and Abby stay with me and that I wouldn't ask for any child support. He has a lawyer and I can't afford one so I am really worried that he will get them. Please keep us in your prayers, especially David. This is such an awful situation, and only God can help. I got him back in school yesterday and have been trying to get counseling for him, but we have been put on a waiting list.

Anonymous said...

So timely, needed this encouragement, looking for God to continue encouraging me every day as I feel burdened and confused about what's going on in my family life. God is sending encouragements when I need them so that I'll continue for another few days with hope and when I'm so sad and hopeless once again from continual messages of hopelessness, God sends me more love notes and verses of His mighty powers and sovereign hand. Thank you for being a part of His work in my heart and life.

Anonymous said...

Praying Kelly! He is the Lord who sees you!

Jessica said...

You are not alone! I can relate. I struggle with hurt, anger, bitterness, resentment, accusation, judgment and blame towards my husband. I feel like he isn't there for me when I need him, and that he is frequently withdrawn and distant from the rest of the family. I know he loves me, but I don't feel like I'm very important to him. I feel like he leaves the burden of running our home and raising our children on my shoulders... I feel so weary and lonely sometimes! I long for him to pay attention to me, and to share the burden of raising our family.
I don't have all the answers, but I can share with you what the Lord has been teaching me, and encourage you to persevere! =)
These feelings I struggle with keep me coming to the Lord constantly in prayer... asking forgiveness for the anger, bitterness, and resentment, etc... asking for the Lord to love my husband unconditionally through me, even when I don't feel love for him at that moment... asking for grace and strength... asking the Lord to meet all my needs, instead of expecting my husband to meet my needs (our husbands are human - they can't meet our needs! They are going to let us down, just as we let them down sometimes. That one was a revelation to me, lol!)
In Psalm 68:5, the Bible tells us:
"God in His holy dwelling is a father of the fatherless and a champion of widows."
Even though I'm not an orphan or a widow, God has shown me that He can and will meet my needs and care for me with tenderness and love, and fill the gaps that my husband leaves. To take it a step further - when I start to focus on my husband's shortcomings, God will lovingly and gently remind me of my own shortcomings, and how He fills the gaps that I leave towards my husband and my children! It's hard to judge my husband when I realize that I have my own shortcomings. =) God is never condemning, though, and I would caution to be on guard against the devil attacking with words of condemnation and accusation. Yes, we have sin, failures and shortcomings, BUT we are forgiven when we confess them! And the Lord is so faithful to grant His grace to us when we do!! Hallelujah!
I would encourage you to try to find some things about your husband to be thankful for, and give God thanks for them. It’s interesting how quickly our perspectives and heart attitudes change when we do this one thing. I’ve tried this, and God opened my eyes to see how my own husband is faithful, loyal, generous, and works hard to provide for us.

Jessica said...

Sorry, my reply was too long and I had to split it up! Here's the second part:

I would also like to recommend a couple of blog entries that have helped me:
Towards the end of this post on Every Bitter Thing is Sweet, the author says, “Love suffers long when I have a new morning, despite the fact that this child might not. Love suffers long when I forget yesterday’s anger aimed at me and absorb today’s, anew, with fresh eyes for their pain and their history. Love suffers long when I reach through the wall and I hold with kind eyes, when I speak about who they are becoming and not who they are in this moment. Love suffers long when I see them not for what my naked-eye perceives but for who He tells me they are, in private.
But, I can only love this child with the long-suffering love that He gave me first.
That one in our lives — that child, that friend, that parent, that husband — the one who just isn’t budging under all of our love-strategies, may need to linger right where they are in order for our hearts to grow, here, up from where we are.
This long-kind-of-love may be more about me, discovering the mercy of Those Eyes that continue to suffer long with my incessant failings, than it is about this child getting the band-aid they need for that heart that bleeds beneath their rigid skin.”
When I read that post, it hit me that maybe the reason God is allowing these struggles (and the reason that He isn’t changing my husband, in spite of my many prayers), is because He is working in MY heart, and teaching me to love my husband with the same long-suffering love that Christ loves me with!
The next blog entry is:
Number 5 on the list REALLY made an impression on me, and has caused me to retrain my brain regarding the way that I think about my husband!
“5. See him for who he is, not who you want him to be.”
And the last one is a post that really spoke to me about the way that I use words:

I know this is a really long answer (I'm not even sure if all of it will apply to your situation or not, but it's coming from my own experiences), but your comment struck such a familiar chord in my heart that I wanted to share with you the lessons and encouragement that God has brought to me as I’ve been on this journey! God bless you, your marriage, and family. I will be praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Thank you. That was truly a word from God for me yesterday to not give up the keep trusting in His goodness and authority in the heavens to command the angel armies on my child's behalf. Thank you.

mamaof3 said...

Oh Jessica thank you so much for your encouragement! And your prayers! We actually had a talk he and I on Fri afternoon and I think he really took what I said to heart and hes willing to work on our private life and our relationship in general!!!! Yay! God is so good! love Kathryn

Jessica said...

Hallelujah!! I am so glad to hear that! Thank you for sharing. =) Yes, He is so good!

Jessica said...

I realized after I posted my response to you that I also have a praise to share - on Saturday God prompted my husband to take me out on a spontaneous date for the entire afternoon! We had such a wonderful time, and I received one-on-one attention from him that I had been longing for. =) Praise the Lord!

Anonymous said...

Hi Kathryn, have you considered asking your husband if he is using p@rn? The reason I ask is your post tells a story, a hidden story, one I've heard too often and rarely addressed. One I've experienced personally.

Kelley Lawrence Forrester said...

Thank you so much! Prayers are GREATLY appreciated :) He starts counseling this coming Monday :)

Kelley Lawrence Forrester said...

Thank you so much! Prayers are GREATLY appreciated :) He starts counseling this coming Monday :)

Jacqueline@ said...

I am so thankful that this is being read by so many young (and older) women who are in incredible difficulties. I pray the Lord uses it mightily to strengthen their hearts to trust Him alone. To God be all the glory! Thank you for blessing me personally, too.

Erica Sutton said...

I really, REALLY needed this....Thank you. Please anyone who will, pray for me and my home, and my ability/ and wisdom to (always) guide it in the right direction.

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