Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Guidelines for a Peaceful Household

Many moms write me and ask questions about parenting and running a household, and since I just shared about large families yesterday I thought I would share these Duggar Household Guidelines. You may have seen it on their website in the past or heard it on the show, but I wanted to share it again as it is a good reminder for our children to abide by. Some of you might even want to print it out, post it on your fridge or schoolroom to share with your children, you can use a point a day to discuss the different character qualities mentioned.

"Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; he shall give delight unto thy soul. "

Proverbs 29:17

As a mom of 8 children I am reminded everyday that our children are a work in progress. I pray for them and try to remember to be patient with them the way God is patient with me. I don't always do this perfectly but I am a work in progress too. ;)

Here they are:

Duggar House Guidelines

  1. Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well.
  2. Always display kind actions and joyful attitudes, even if you have been mistreated. Have the right response by quickly forgiving others in your heart even before they ask.
  3. Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others' character.
  4. Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.
  5. Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings.
  6. Always do what is right, even when others may not, or when no one is looking.
  7. Thank God for how He made you, for what He has given you and everything He allows you to go through.     (Romans 8:28)
  8. Don’t mock or put others down. Develop compassion and pray for others.
  9. Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don't wait till you’re caught. Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.
  10. Have a tough accountability/prayer partner to daily share your heart with and to keep you in line (your parents, spouse). The power of sin is in secrecy.
  11. Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.
  12. Think pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8, Romans 13:14).
  13. Always give a good report of others. Don't gossip! Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. (Use Matthew 18.)
  14. Never raise a hand to hit.
  15. Never raise a foot to kick.
  16. Never raise an object to throw.
  17. Never raise a voice to yell.
  18. Never raise an eye to scowl.
  19. Use one toy/activity at a time. Share!
  20. Do your best to keep your surroundings neat, clean and     organized.
  21. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. 
    (Don’t go to bed angry or guilty)
  22. Amendment J.O.Y. -    
    -Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. 

Remember, that children will sin and break "the rules"so to speak-- so be prepared. In our large family of 10, we are reminded that we are a bunch of sinners saved only by grace. This is a learning lesson for all in itself. As parents, we are always guiding our children unto right paths. My mother is 65 and still encourages me to do the right thing!

Finally, don't expect perfection, but do expect to give patience and mercy when needed. Our children need love and guidance from us (sometimes alot more than we thought) and not just a set of harshly driven rules.

May the Lord bless you as you faithfully build up strong homes!


Angela said...

I have a friend who is asking for resources concerning a 'stong-willed' child. Is there anything that you would recommend that I can pass along to her?
Thank you so much!

Anonymous said...

As a mom of three young adults aged 22, 19 and 18 I find this post very encouraging and lovely to read. We have had some issues to deal with our 22 year old and often find mothering posts to be about younger families. I need to find Christian blogs relating to mothering of young adults. Anyone have any ideas? Thank you!

Meg said...

I always find that it helps to have the rules written out or verbalized with children. This looks like a great list to have!

myheartsmission said...

Thank you for this list of rules. I am looking forward to talking with my husband about the list tonight. We have been talking about writing our own list of rules to share with the kids.
I especially loved Amendment JOY- makes it easy to remember for Mom and Dad and the kids. :)

Becky [Apples of Gold] said...

I love these guidelines! Kids thrive in a home where boundary lines are set in stone. I wish my parents would have raised me using this list! I plan on printing this to uses as a daily reminder for my little family of three. =)

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