Monday, February 13, 2012

Looking at Your Husband with New Eyes

I am typing this post out at a very special place. Me and my husband went on a romantic getaway last night to a charming bed and breakfast to celebrate Valentine's day!

I want to share some reflections of what I have learned from 20 years of marriage. I want you all to listen carefully:

Marriage is definitely something that needs works on. It is lovely and needs attention cultivating. Not just when you are newlyweds but especially as the years go by. It is so easy to let the worries and cares of life sweep in and distract you. It is easy to neglect your marriage and let it run on autopilot. But ladies, I encourage you to do something special and actually care for your marriage. Take the time to do the little things, because it is the little things that count. Don't ignore the fact that your marriage is not doing well if it is. Do something about it!

We need to look at our husbands with new eyes. Yes, he is the protector, provider and priest of our homes and we need to acknowledge that. We need to protect our hearts from any ungodly thinking or bitterness towards him that might creep in. We need to take ungodly thoughts captive and then take action in loving.

Special things you can do to let him know he is special:

  • make his favorite meal
  • surprise him with his favorite book/special present
  • give him a massage
  • write him a special note telling him how much you love him
  • plan a surprise outing/getaway to focus on just the two of you
  • throw him a party
  • pamper  him when he gets home from work
  • honor him in front of him by telling the children (his parents, friends, or anyone else) what you love about him
There is so much more but pray and ask the Lord what your special "gift" could be--then really do it!

Above all things, remember to REALLY LOVE him with agape love (unconditional love):

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

-1 Corinthians 13

I am so blessed to have my husband. The Lord has turned our ashes into beauty and where else could I find a man that truly loves and understands me, loves to write and enjoys churchplanting as much as I do? Only God could have done that and for that I am grateful!

Now if you are looking for a place to getaway for Valentine's or just for fun, I recommend the Inn at Aberdeen where I am typing from right now. Here is a video of the place for you to enjoy:

(Note: please turn off the music at the bottom of the page!)

I smell breakfast ready so I'd better get going!

Have a blessed day!


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  1. Beautifully written! Thank you for the encouragement, June!

  2. Beautifully written! Thank you for the encouragement, June!

  3. I clicked on this post and there was music playing. I had to search for the player to shut it off before I could watch the video link you posted for the B&B. Just thought I would let you know that it may be a bit of a bother for some. I think the music you have playing is nice, but it can be a bit annoying at times since I may be listening to messages online or my own music at the time. ;-)

  4. I really enjoy your blog and think you do a wonderful job. My husband and I own our business, automotive mechanic garage. It has caused some tension in our marriage before I learned a little secret that has helped tremendously. As a wife and stay at home mother of three little girls, I keep very busy with teaching them and household duties. However, I admit, looking back over the years I can see the times where I unintentionally placed my husband on the back burner. We have a rule in our relationship to always be honest with each other, and it has drawn us so close to each other that it's wonderful. My husband will tell me when he feels like I am disregarding him; for example, if he asks me to do some paperwork or such, and I put it off till another convenient time for me when I could leave that pile of laundry for a while; it'll still be there when I get back. I have found that following the Lord's example and putting my husband's needs and wants (even though to me they don't seem important) before my own, and even the children, is a wonderful and sure way to uplift, encourage, support, and love my husband.

  5. Thank you for your wisdom. I am a mom of 4 and married for 13 years this year and it is comforting and a blessing to hear from those who are further on this journey than us. You have inspired me to put myself out there and do a nice deed for my hubby. Too often we think they should be doing these things and I sometimes think "Why me? He should be the one to make that step" and then I think "Why not me" but moreover I am beginning to see that God created me to be the nurturer of the home, children and the marriage. My hubby is a sweet man just not so romantic so I'm going to take that step instead of letting the opportunity slip away.
    Thank you for the encouragment.
    Blessings, Annamarie ( I don't know how to leave a comment with the choices so I use anonymous!!)

  6. it looks like a lovely inn. i like the title for your post. it is very important to just step back and do that sometimes. Thanks for te reminder. (A little getaway always help us do that) :)

  7. Thank you for the encouragement! And that inn looks beautiful. I hope you all are enjoying a wonderful getaway!

  8. Too funny that there's a comment about the music on this exact post! I was just wanting to let you know how much I appreciate the music! I've been letting it play for hours now, because it is such a soothing playlist.

  9. Hello!

    I really love your blog and I would like to recognize you by awarding your blog the Versatile Blogger Award.

    If you would like to accept it, please go to my blog to receive it here:

    Thank you :o)

  10. So glad you are having a getaway - what a wonderful way to reconnect! You are right - marriage takes work - more so now that we have children than ever before. The rewards are well worth the invested effort though! Thanks for the edification!

  11. Love this!! I really enjoyed reading your ideas on how to show your husband you love and care for him.

  12. That was beautiful! Thank you for inspiring all of us! Thanks for spreading God's love through your story :)

  13. So glad you wrote this. So true, June. I hope you had a lovely time with Steve.

  14. Your blogs are inspiring.
    When I met my present husband I had been own my own for 10 years raising three of my four children, one already left home, and I had one grandchild, my husband had no children. It is a great adventure. Not a life I would have chosen on my own, but apparently God had different ideas. My husband and I just celebrated 17 years of marriage in January and it seems we have been through so many trials together. We based our marriage on commitment in the very beginning and on I Corinthians 13. I also sited Ruth 1:16 & 17 to him. He had my brothersing a song to me from him. We used "The Wedding Song." as our wedding march. My 17 y.o. son walked me down the aisle as a gesture that my son accepted the marriage, because at first he had said, "You have taken a friend and you are now making him my authoritarian." My husband had run my son and his nephew around all the time. When the pastor asked who gives this woman to this man, my children all answered “we do.” The only sad part was my parents didn't show up. My mom was mad because I didn't have my dad walk me down the aisle. They knew why. I had discussed it with them before that time. It was important to my son to do so, to show his acceptance and my father had given me away the first time. I had not returned to the home of my father and mother and therefore was no longer under their covering.
    Marriage is to be a life time commitment, but too many people go into marriage thinking if it doesn't work out I can always get out. I was read recently that in some places, they can now sign a marriage contract for two years and at the end of those two years they either renew it or walk away from it. I'm sure God is not pleased with that.
    My husband is 12 years younger than myself. My oldest child was only 4 years younger than him. We met at church and one Sunday he jokingly said "I am going up here to sit by my wife." I told him he was snared by his, because about 8 months later I did become his wife. It really takes love and commitment to make a marriage work. Every man before now had either abused me or used me. My father was never a loving person and was physically abusive. I had been molested by a neighbor. My 1st husband constantly had affairs and finally left me for someone else. He later died of a heart attack.
    God has blessed my present husband and I with a very special relationship and love like I have never known before in my whole life. It has taught me more about how much God loves us than anything else.
    We have 2 children of our own, who are now teenagers. We are also raising two of our grandchildren, so we have a house full of teenagers again, four of them! We have been blessed with six children altogether and 18 grandchildren. It would have been 20, but two are with the Lord. We had always said there are no steps in this home except the ones leading to the bedrooms. No half brothers and sisters either.
    Our youngest son has a seizure disorder and is in the autism spectrum, but very intelligent. He's 15. One of the grandchildren that we are raising has Cerebral Palsy and Cortical Visual Impairment but at 13 y.o. it doesn't stop her. The other daughter is 16 1/2. The other grandchild is 15y.o. and 3 mos. younger than our youngest son. One grandson was born with no opening from the kidneys to the ureters that carry urine to the bladder. They told us his living outside the womb was slim. He had reconstructive surgery right after he was born and two since then. He is now an active 8 y.o. His brother who was born recently had to be taken at 5 1/2 weeks early, due to complications of the mother and the baby. He was expected to be in NICU for a long time. He went home within 10 days!
    Prayer is a very important part of a marriage, also. I lay hands on my husband before he awakens and rises out of bed in the morning. I pray for him and his day, without him even knowing it. I then pray for each member of my family.
    Above all else, Gods love keeps enduring through it all.

  15. Thank you Mrs. June! This Valentines day myhusband and I are enjoying our love in simple ways....I was very excited to see the bed and breakfest a must sometime in the future!!

  16. I am not yet married. lol. I do however, hold your advice in high esteem. By God's grace if He grants me a priest of my own :) I will remember your sage words. I do thank you.

  17. This is such a good reminder! Something else to think about is you NEVER know if this will be your last precious moment together. Something could change your life in an instant and then all good intentions or future plans to do something nice for your husband will be lost.
    I lost my husband at 39 years of age to stomach cancer, and after the diagnosis we only had 7 weeks together. (I am grateful for that time.) Our children are now growing up without their father.
    These things really happen, and no one sees them coming.
    Love your husband while it is still TODAY and don't wait until tomorrow.


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