Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Controlled Mother

Be gentle. That does not mean to spiritless. It means to be the opposite of violent, irritable, ill-tempered, and moody. Study to be so, for your own soul's sake, and as if you lived in God's presence, always keeping down every movement of anger, irritability, ill-temper, or moodiness. And be gentle,--precisely because you have much to do, much to bear, many cares to burden you, many things which continually try your temper.

Be low voiced. It is wonderful what effect a mother's gentle manner and low voice---when she teaches, or corrects, or praises--will have on a band of children. Take a school-room filled with very young boys or girls. Let their teacher be nervous, fidgety, and irritable; you will see all theses little ones thrown into a ferment and fever and agitation, which is nothing more than a kind of disorder which they catch from the teacher's manner.

 Let her be loud-voiced, teaching or speaking in loud, quick, nervous tones, and it is ten to one but you will see within a few minutes all these children will become restless, talkative, inattentive, and ungovernable. Now, let some quiet, gentle, calm-mannered and low-voiced person come in, and all the children will become quieted, will listen, and be ready to give their whole attention to what is said. And they will work steadily as long as the calm eye is on them and the gentle, low voice is directing them.

You will spare yourselves and your dear ones much trouble and much unhappiness by laying this lesson to heart. You can do what you like with them---if you are perfectly self-controlled. Besides, what a service you do them; and how they will bless their mother in afterlife for having taught them this gentleness!

Be patient--not only when you are suffering from aching limbs and head and heart, but when you do not succeed in making your dear ones all that you would wish. They will learn more than you think. They profit much more than you can see by your lessons, and especially by your example.

Even should son or daughter of yours turn out to be every thing but what you trained them to be, the memory of their gentle, patient, loving mother will remain in their souls to their dying day, like a silent voice from the past bidding them return to God and to the the paths of their childhood.

Some say that steel beaten into its proper form and given a keen edge while cold, is more apt to preserve both form and edge forever. So is it with the temper your patient gentleness will impart to your children's souls. And this firmness, which is only one of the most precious dispositions of true manhood and womanhood, will be both of infinite value to them and of indispensable necessity.

-An excerpt from Daughters of Destiny by Noelle Wheeler

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  1. This is so true! I remember being so much more compelled, even as a little girl, but someone who spoke to me in a level and gentle (but firm) voice than someone who tried to correct me by yelling.

    What a gift a gentle, low voice can be to our families--husbands, as well as children!


  2. I LOVE your blog!!! I never leave without bits of treasured information, thank you!

  3. I loved this post. And needed the reminder. Thank you.

  4. I need to REALLY LEARN THIS!!!!! Thank you again for being a blessing!

  5. Thank you so much for posting these needful words! I struggle daily with a bad temper myself, and it has really leaked into my two year old. Thanks forthe timely reminder!

  6. Hello Mrs. Fuentes,
    Thank you for this timely post. The Lord has been dealing very specifically about this just this week. I have not been well and He has been nudging me to almost whisper when I talk to the children.

    I naturally, with out really a reason, sound harsh to them at times. I hate this in me and have been crying out to God to help me change this. He is so faithful to hear a Mama's cry, it is working. Years of bad habits need to be overcome though.

    I am having a Titus 2 blog party that I hope for you to be a part of. Please check out my blog for info. You have been a great encouragement to me, thank you.


  7. Thanks for this - you cannot imagine just how timely it was for me.

  8. How I needed this when my son was young. I missed that one, but I can learn it now with my granddaughters and pass along the blessing.

  9. I love your art prints and I would love to know where to purchase them. I have been following your blog and learning a lot from it. Is there any way that I can find out where to buy the art for my home. Thank you, Kathy


  10. Beautiful as ever! I come here for encouragement and am never disappointed!

  11. This is a beautiful blog with beautiful writing. I am blessed.

  12. I visit your blog regularly,but todays post was particularly timely. I am trying to adjust to living with 3 autoimmune diseases. I have a large family which includes 7 still at home children the youngest is 14 months. She has an upper respitory infection and is cutting 2 teeth, it has been an awful week. She cries, and cries, and cries. Between her illness and very cold weather, I have had a hard time coping with the extreme pain. Your post caused me to reexanine how grouchy I was by Fri. afternoon. I know I am unable to push my body, and I have to accept my limitations, and pain with kindness, and a gentle spirit.

    while the circumstances, can't be changed, attitude can. Baby girl and I are going to bed, if you can't beat 'em sometimes you need to join 'em.

  13. I just discovered your blog and love it!

  14. God knows exactly what I need to hear and it is so amazing to come here today and read these encouraging thoughts, thank you for posting them.

    JOYfully in Him,

  15. Where did you get that beautiful image?

  16. This is one art that I am continually working on. I have not had much success and sometimes I despair of ever succeeding but I won't give up. This post just serves to help me pick myself up and try again. God bless you.

  17. Thank you for writing this, I enjoyed it and I pray I can glean from this....

  18. Thank you so much for sharing this! Holly

  19. How powerful.
    Thank you.


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