We have all heard the line before, and we all know women who take charge and domineer their husbands. They might be a co-worker, a friend or even someone in your family---if you have had the opportunity to witness such an example you are sure to want to cringe at some time or another.
I have heard it taught that in the Garden of Eden when God punished Eve that one of her punishments along with pain in childbearing would for her to 'desire her husband'---or desire his role. One thing I am sure of is that I do see a tendency for women to want to lead their husbands. I believe the Lord knew our sinful tendencies to want to lead and that is why the He clearly teaches us the order of families.
Do we honestly think we will be happy if we lead? Do we think that he will suddenly stop being passive and start leading? We must understand that our husbands are always leading. They are either doing a good job at it or a bad one.
But our job is not to take over his.
He most likely will not step up in his leadership if we are always in the way. We must let him lead. He is the leader of the home. He is the one held accountable to God for all things going on in his home.
I would like to spend some time sharing with you on how we, as wives, can encourage husbands in their role. Let's take a look:
1. Step out of the way. This means if you have been trying to lead your home you need to admit this (not make excuses), repent (to him and God) and start anew.
2. Don't criticize--but encourage! This is hard for those of us who like to voice our opinions but we need to learn self-control and know that when we do this we are building up and protecting our homes from Satan who'd like to see it destroyed.
3. Pray. Nothing is more powerful than prayer. Unleash it and see what God has planned for your life. Pray the Lord will make him a godly, bold and courageous leader and that you would become the helpmeet needed for that kind of a leader.
4. It is okay to share your personal opinions but don't force it on him. Don't manipulate him. Don't fight his battles for him. Don't make him see things your way and then pretend he is the one leading when you know you are still trying to be in control of the wheel. Be honest.
5. Be content with God's best for you. So many women struggle with submitting and are confused---thinking it is in direct opposition with women's rights. We need to understand that the Lord is the Great Liberator--not feminism. We need to know that ultimate freedom comes first from God's word and not from equality with men or women's rights. True freedom is found in the word of God. Worldly freedom is limited and can come with bondage.
Let us give our husbands the gift of a wife that is willing to follow him--and God's order. Lord, help us to be better helpmeets to our husbands and let our hearts be still to hear God's voice in the midst of many.
If you need further reading on this topic, I highly recommend The Excellent Wife:
"Martha Peace, a nouthetic counselor of women, has written an Excellent Volume. Not only does it explain what God "requires" of a Christian wife, but it explains clearly how to obey God's commandments in order to become that wife. Get it, read it and profit from it."
"The Excellent Wife" is an absolute must for women today. This book is a welcomed first because it is a Scripturally based, systematic and practical work for today's women. Within its pages is a detailed portrait of a godly wife. Not only is the standard high and godly, but Martha demonstrates that by God's grace, it is attainable..."
You can find this book HERE.
(Note: If you husband is sinning and abusive towards you please seek your pastor or Christian counseling for help.)