Monday, April 23, 2018

Unrealistic Expectations in the Home

Does your husband irritate you?

Do your children drive you crazy?

Is your home a crazy mess?

Sometimes all of these things can happen at once---and it can feel like everything is crashing down on you! But one thing I have learned over the 25 years of being a wife and mother is that changing my perspective on everything can make a big difference.

"Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home."
-Stephen & Alex Kendrick

First off, we need to be able to be sober-minded women (1 Peter 5:8) and definitely avoid getting overly stressed out or having a pity party for ourselves. We need to watch over our thought life vigilantly and make sure that there aren't any unrealistic thoughts or expectations that have creeped in. In other words we need to take every thought captive!

Unrealistic expectations can seep into areas like:


-thinking that you need to have the perfect marriage.
-wanting your marriage to be like somebody else's (like a friends or someone's on Facebook)
-letting everything about your spouse irritate you


-thinking that your children need to be perfect
-thinking that you need to be the perfect mom
-irritated with your children when they fail or for little "childish" things


-always thinking your home needs to be picture perfect
-thinking your home should never get messy (and no one better get it messy)
-thinking you are a failure when jobs are not done

We need to remind ourselves that there are no perfect homes, marriages, or children. That we are all just sinners in need of a great and mighty Savior and that we need Him greatly.


1. Is my thought life bringing glory to God?

2. Am I having unrealistic expectations about this situation?

3. Is this going to matter next week, next month, next year?

4. Are my standards too high and not even biblical?

5. How would God want me to handle this?

It is vital to remember to capture every thought to Jesus Christ so that even our thought life would bring glory to Him.

We need to pray for flexibility in knowing that when things don't go our way that we can extend patience,  grace, and mercy.

We especially need humility to ask for forgiveness when we are wrong or do wrong and restore our relationships as God would want us to.

Dear Lord, please help us not to have unrealistic expectations in our home. Help us not to be self-focused but instead be Christ-focused in Your Word. I know that when we think about our short comings we know that we cannot expect people around me to be perfect. Help us to love and serve them the way that you would want us to. Please create in us a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us. Thank you for all that you have done and what you are going to do in our lives. In Jesus' name we pray--Amen. 

Do you need more encouragement on this topic?

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Anonymous said...

I love what you've shared here. I often try reminding myself of when I had less expectations and felt a whole lot happier and not stressed at all, when first married. As the years have gone by, for some reason I have begun to expect a perfect everything. But as you said, that is not realistic, so it's not going to happen. Thankful for this post.

Anonymous said...

An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker who was doing
a little homework on this. And he actually ordered me dinner
due to the fact that I stumbled upon it for him...

lol. So let me reword this.... Thanks for the meal!!
But yeah, thanks for spending time to talk about this subject here on your website.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing! Such a great reminder to be conscious of our thought life. We are a Christian home, but frequently I put more success on education & success than I do encouraging my kids to stay Christ centered and focused. Such a beautiful posting...thank you!

Anonymous said...

What are realistic expectations?

Unknown said...

This is just timely for me even if this was dated last year..thank u.


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