Recently on our Facebook fanpage we shared a question from a reader:
"I am having trouble forgiving my husband for something and I am starting to feel bitter towards him. What do you think would help me not to go down that path?"
I know it is a hard thing sometimes to live with your husband and having times when you are not getting along or not seeing eye to eye about something. I understand how it can is also difficult if your husband has broken his trust with you or has hurt your feelings in some way or another. The pain can be deep and the forgiving can be hard.
So we would like to share a few ways to deal with your feelings towards your husband so that you do not become bitter against him and instead do what is right and respond in a godly way.
5 Ways to Not Grow Bitter Towards Your Husband
1. Realize He is a Sinner. Sometimes we can easily forget that our husbands are sinners saved by grace just like ourselves. We need to remember that he is in the same need of the grace of God just as we are. It is a good reminder to think about how Jesus died on the cross not just for you, but for him too and that he is a fallen man who will make many mistakes.
2. Forgive--Even When it is Hard. Forgiveness can be a very hard thing for some especially if it is something hard to forgive. God said to forgive 70 times 7 times and more. When we don't forgive we can open the door for bitterness to creep into our lives. This bitterness can hurt everyone around us including ourselves. You might have to do it a thousand times a day but it is that same forgiveness sets you free.
3. Take Captive Ungodly Thoughts - You might be tempted many times to think ungodly thoughts about your husband. Be sure to take those thoughts captive and replace them with the word of God. For example if you are thinking "I just can't stand him sometimes, he gets on my last nerves." Then meditate on verses on love like this one:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Do not allow room for the enemy into your marriage!
4. Pray for Him - I know this can be hard, especially if he has really hurt you. But all sinners need prayer and your husband is no exception. Lift him up to our Savior who is able to make all men into a new creation and change his heart when it is hard. With God all things are possible.
5. Pray for Yourself - It is okay to pray for yourself, we all need prayer at some time or another. Pray that you would always seek God's face in the situation, that you would bring him good and not harm all the days of your life, and that you would be the wise woman who builds up her house and not the foolish woman who tears her house down.
If you would like to read what several of our readers shared in response to this questions,you can read their responses HERE.
I recommend The Excellent Wife and How to Build a Strong Christian Home if you are looking for reading material to encourage you along this path.
What would you add to help in not growing bitter? Share it in the comments below!
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