Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Confused Parenting




There is a trend in America today that is ever increasing and being promoted from magazines, books, and TV shows that we need to be aware of --it is a form of parenting that hinders a child instead of helps a child to reach his maximum growth. It is a form"molly-coddling" and it needs to be addressed.

I have read some very sound books on parenting and some very bad books on parenting. The good books will stick to scripture and follow it's guidelines. The bad books are based on psychology that can be confusing and literally stunt the growth of a child.

We need to be Christian women who can discern the difference. Just because a book made it to the top 10 bestselling list or has a splashy cover does not mean it contains wisdom. It might contain wisdom of this world but not true wisdom which comes from God's truth.

Some of these books talk about how we need to talk the child through every little thing--to find out how that child "feels" and how we "feel" and how we need to allow the child to vent, do what they want and be out of control.  I know there can be a time and place for talking, but that is alot different from what I read about having self control and self government in the Bible. Sometimes sin is just sin and we need to deal with our children biblically, with a firm hand of truth combined with love.

"Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. "
Proverbs 29:17

False methods exhaust and exasperate the children and the parents. The scripture above speak volumes of truth on parenting. His way is always perfect and right.



We need to raise up children who can do things for themselves too. Not a child who cries and whines for everything. We must understand that we can't do everything for them. When we do this we are giving them life skills that will prove to be valuable one day. These children will eventually turn into adults who cannot do things for themselves because they have been handicapped while they were younger.

We also need to teach them to serve others. Children are born with folly bound up in their heart, they feel that the world centers around them and a parent needs to step in and let them know that this is not so. We need to teach our children to having loving hands that share and give and thinks beyond themselves.

We try to  do that around here by giving our children the Word of God, teaching them to serve and do jobs that help others, to serve by helping at church, and minister in our neighborhood. Now we don't do this perfectly by any means, but it is a starting point. We are laying down seeds that will grow one day and that is what matters.

Parents need to do their part. They are responsible to God.We are commanded in Scripture to raise them up in His ways---not the ways of this world. We cannot grow weary or be swayed by all kinds of false teaching.

Mothers, my prayer for you today is that you would have wisdom as you walk alongside your children ever dispensing truth, patience and mercy. Forgiving and learning along this great journey of motherhood as He molds you as a parent-- that you and your husband, together as a team, raise up godly seed for Him, and would have wisdom to discern His truths over the fallible wisdom of this world.























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15 comments:

  1. Dear One, I haven't heard of this so called technique. Will have to google it. Thanx for sharing and caring.

    To God be the GLORY great things HE hath done!
    God bless,
    d

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    1. Dear Deanna,

      Thanks for visiting!

      Many blessings...

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  2. Thank you for the timing of this... just what I needed to hear today. "Dispensing truth, patience, and mercy...", is my greatest challenge, and an exhausting one at that. But on days I do it well, there's nothing like it!! Making the effort to be what our kids need really is a reward unto itself.

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    1. Dear Michele,

      It is a challenge for all of us and yes, I am looking forward to the final reward just as you are! Thanks for visiting!

      Delete
  3. Very well put...I love reading your blog and gleaning wisdom from your thoughts!

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  4. Thank you for this.

    There is a very real pressure that can make you feel as though you're a bad mother for correcting your child. And it can be discouraging.

    Thank you for the encouragement to follow God's plan.

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    1. Dear Kaylee,

      I know and isn't that a shame? It shouldn't be that way, instead we need to be encouraged for doing the right thing-it can be so hard to parent and what we really need is encouragement and not the opposite.

      Delete
  5. It is so important to test every piece of advice against scripture! Even from Christian experts. I heard someone on the Christian radio station the other day say you don't need to know where your teenager is at all times, and my jaw about hit the floor.

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    1. I have heard similar stories too and it always surprises me. Just because someone is on the radio does not make them an expert. We must use caution in all areas.

      Thanks for visiting!

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    2. I agree wholeheartedly.
      In these times, too many "Christian experts" abound and there's alot of false teaching out there.

      Praise the Lord that He gave us His Word so we are not left to figure it out on our own!

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  6. What are your personal thoughts on Love & Logic parenting?

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    1. Dear Anonymous,

      This is the first time I am hearing of it, I would have to do some research and check it out before I give my position on it. Thanks for visiting!

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  7. Thank you for addressing this topic. What was considered sound, biblical parenting a generation ago now is often labeled "controversial." (And I'm not even talking about corporal punishment!) Simply expecting good manners, respect for adults, and general civilized behavior can raise a myriad of eyebrows.

    When my then 5 yr old began yelling at his coach and throwing clubs at a golf lesson, I calmly but firmly stepped in to tell him to apologize and calm down or we were going home. After briefly hesitating, then thinking better of it, my son complied. The rest of the lesson was peaceful and respectful.

    However, a dad on the sidelines admonished me for "not understanding my son's feelings" and advised I read "Parenting Through Love & Logic." I in turn advised the critic that I have no intention of raising a smart alec. Since when did spineless capitulation to a child's temper tantrum become Loving or Logical??

    P.S. Same son is now 10, and receives many compliments re his respectful, compassionate, and polite attitudes and behavior. Intentional parenting, prayer & perseverance takes work, but does help!

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    1. I thought how you handled that was very wise. I am not a fan of Love and Logic, because I only know the basics,but according to a Love and Logic website, that man had misunderstandings about how to apply it and what you did, (perhaps minus the initial showing of sympathy of his feelings-which quiet frankly is not always appropriate in my opinion) you handled it according to what they recommend. You put the choice of staying or going completely on his shoulders, which is what they encourage parents to do.

      Like every book we read, we filter it through our own perceptions and therefore cannot always objectively interpret the author's original message.

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  8. Lord O Lord Jesus please give me the wisdom and the strength for this calling of being in care of my sisters children while they work out of area. My sister and her fiance do not teach them the way of the Lord so it is up to me to do this and for my one child too, I am raising him without the father at this time. Thank you for what you will do in our lives and of our loved ones and friends that need to put you #1 in their life. Bless those who are teaching others tom train their child as they should go to other families, Bless their ministries for Your Kingdom, Thank You Jesus. In Your Mighty Name, Amen

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