Watch this interesting perspective from men on modesty. If we can even learn one thing here, ladies, then it was worth posting. I don't know if this is true for all men, but if it is, may the Holy Spirit speak to us as we choose our clothing and how we treat our brothers in Christ each and every day.
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21 comments:
Thanks so much for posting this. I have a 13 and a 14 year old daughter and I'm going to have them listen to this. There are times that we have to tell them to go change their clothes, because they are showing too much skin. Hopefully, after hearing this video, they will understand what they are doing to guys and not want to wear those kinds of clothes anymore. Again, thanks!
Thank you so much for that video!
Being in the middle of a sewing marathon, making skirts and dresses for myself and my 3 daughters (I pulled basting stitches while I watched), I woke up this morning feeling discouraged and tired about how much work I have done and still have left to do. I was thinking of how we would be made fun of for dressing modestly and femininely. I feel my energy and zeal for the work is now renewed and I thank you for this ever so timely post!
Thank you very much for sharing this. I try to be committed to modesty myself, of course it isn't always easy to not fall into the lies such as "I can dress how I like, I'm not responsible for what someone else thinks" so reminders are appreciated.
Generally when I buy something I do ask myself if I would be comfortable wearing it around my dad and brothers and if the answer is no, well, back it goes.:)
I actually listened to that entire message a couple of weeks ago; then my husband listened to it. It was amazing. CJ Mahaney brought out things in ways I had never thought of before.
An absolutely amazing video. You never think about the clothing your choosing from a man's perspective. Thank you for sharing this!
Jaimi
Thank you so much for this post. I shared it on facebook as well. Everyone should watch this! Thanks for your honesty and your wonderful blog!
Jess
Thank you for sharing this. I just posted it to my face book!
Our 19yo son was just talking to me about how hard it is for him with girls and "yoga pants" or clingy volleyball shorts. It's a tough time for our sons. I wish girls would take it seriously as causing another to sin, which it is.
<y son loves seeing me in a dress again, I went to pants for the winter time, but I am back to dresses :)
He is even making me beaded bracelets to go with my dresses :)
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this with us! I have already passed it on. :)
Thank you so much for sharing this on your blog today. I was blessing to be setting with my 22 year old DIL and we watched it together and it really made an impact on her. Thank you again, it was a blessing to watch and to learn!
This is such a great video, thank you for sharing it here! May God work within our hearts to turn us to Himself, so that in all things -including our clothing and demeanor - we might seek to bring Him glory.
This is really great. Rarely do we as women take the time to think about this subject and how it affects those that we love. The men around us are our brothers and we are to lay down our lives (our own will) for them. If we have a true love for them we will consider them in the things that we do; and do everything that we can to help them. What is a little extra material really...nothing but that. Material.
Shalom , do you really think that all men "continuosly struggle with lust" to me all men who are believers should not continuosly struggle with lust....that said it is a good video to remind us...modesty is so important, for both men and women!
many blessings
This post was so good. And to go along with it,...last night my hubby and I went out to eat and he turned his head to look for the waitress because he needed a refill on his coke...and right there in front of his eyes was a young gal with short shorts on.
He quickly turned his head back and told me..."It's a good thing I sat on this side of the table because I don't have to sit there and see all of the leg!" Now my husband is 65, and so even at that age he was affected, and he didn't like it that a girl would go in public like that.
Linda @ Truthful Tidbits
Wow, so challenging to hear that from the guys. Will be sharing this as a resource for our church - youth and adults alike.
God bless you
I dress modestly and yet in my heart I am often bitter at all the women who dress immodestly and are creating temptation for my husband. I am still getting used to the knowledge that men are tempted regularly and I find it hard to hear. Because I want my husband not to even feel tempted...which I know will not be the case in this world of sin. Then I start thinking that I wish I could dress more 'attractively' (immodestly?) so that just as my husband feels attraction so I would also be attractive to men. I realise this is wrong. I just really struggle knowing that each day my husband is bound to see things from which he will have to turn his eyes and thoughts. I feel like I need to compete with these attractive girls. And I feel like I can't even compare to their 'beauty' with baby fat, stretch marks, and basic hair styles? I know the bible says beauty is vain and a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised. But on this earth even Christian men find it hard with lust so obviously beauty does have a part to play. Sometimes I think it would be satisfying having men 'like' my looks. But I feel frumpy and old fashioned instead. How do I fight these thoughts? I don't want to be modest outwardly and a hypocrite inwardly. I am just really struggling with the temptations my husband faces. I want him to be pure and true. He is very faithful and fights lust but I wish he didn't even need to fight it. Now I am always worrying about him and what he could be thinking in his mind. I realise constant questioning about who he has seen or talked to won't help him either. How can I truly help him? How can I overcome this scared and anxious spirit? I hate the thought that he might give in and enjoy some other girl's body in his mind. If all men struggle with lust then surely some other wives have felt like me? Please share advice on how I can deal with this ungodly attitude. A wife -I'm sorry for the long comment!
And yet, if these young men would just encourage or praise the young ladies who do dress modestly, then they might find more that are willingly to dress modestly. If there are several young ladies in a room and some are dressed modestly and some (most) are dressed immodestly, guess who gets the attention of the young men? If these young men want more ladies to dress modestly then they need to stop giving all their attention to those that don't!
I cannot help but feel this video displaces a great deal of blame on women for the actions of men. This way of thinking is degrading to both men and women. It's upsetting that we live in a world where men are believed to be barbaric, completely unable to control themselves when faced with a short skirt. It's equally upsetting that young girls are being taught that they must dress to preserve the morality of men, as if they exist solely beneath a male gaze. Perhaps a better message would be one that emphasized self respect and self control for both genders?
As the mother of three boys, this breaks my heart. This is a war they have to fight and it is everywhere! I work so hard at teaching them that girls, women are not sex objects. That they must be respected and admired. And then...everywhere they look,girls are flaunting. Women are flaunting. And it can just as easily be a Christian. Music, T.V., ads, magazines. It's an upward battle for sure.
Thanks for posting this!
I know this post is almost a year old, but I wanted to chime in a bit on a couple comments. I thank God every day for the amazing relationship my husband and I have. Even in college he was open with me regarding this exact topic. He had read "Every Young Man's Battle" and it has forever changed his life and I am sure our relationship. As women, we have no idea what men go through each day... we really don't. He would actively give me feedback on what I wore so as not to cause temptation for him while we were dating. Little things I would have never expected were triggers for him. When we first got married we both had magazine subscriptions that included pictures of scantily women - you know the type... Men's Health, Self, Fitness, etc. - and at the request of my husband every time one came in the mail I censored them for him so that they would not be a temptation whether that be cutting or tearing whole pages out or even the cover to taping paper over some so that we wouldn't lose an article on the back. Eventually we realized whatever those magazines had to say just wasn't worth it so we did not renew them (and we have not missed them at all). I love my husband for his honesty, his courage to admit this weakness to me because I know it's not easy. I also know that my awareness of it has made it easier on him b/c I know what to look for so as not to draw more attention to it for him or to flat out distract him from it so he doesn't stumble. Both our emotional and physical relationships are far beyond what they ever have could been without that information.
So yes HebreHerbMaiden, it is a continuous struggle - each and every day. I'm sorry that the Anonymous poster at the bottom doesn't feel it's her responsibility to make sure her fellow Christians don't stumble. This is not to blame women, it is to make us aware of those struggles. It's not accusing men of being barbaric. It's human nature. It's a fact. Men are visual, much much much more so than women. We can never comprehend how much, I can guarantee you. Even with the greatest attempt towards self-control it's a losing battle. It would be great if society didn't encourage less than modest dress b/c then it would be easier, but we live in a sinful world. The ultimate goal of this site (in my opinion) is to step away from the norm and refuse to conform to society. I sense that many women are likely convicted by this message and probably have their defenses up. I know at one time I did. I didn't want to give up the clothing I liked, but I also didn't want to cause my husband (then boyfriend/fiance) to stumble. It has nothing to do with self respect and everything to do with awareness. You can have self respect and still not have a clue that what you are wearing is a stumbling block for men. It's something as simple as a spaghetti strap top, a skirt or pair of shorts that shows just enough leg to get the imagination going, or any other item of clothing that accentuates or shows just a bit too much.
And yes, in some ways we do exist solely for men. Eve was created FOR Adam. The world would not be here if it weren't for the male/female duo! We just need to realize when things are appropriate and when they are not.
And just as a small disclaimer - this was all new to me just 8 or 9 years ago. I was not raised modest (or Christian for that matter), quite the opposite actually. Whenever I went shopping with my mom she would encourage me to get something that was a little bit shorter, or a little bit tighter. Her philosophy was that I was young, might as well enjoy it while I could. I am SO glad I never listened to her knowing what I do now!
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