Saturday, February 26, 2011

A Father's Regret: Billy Ray Cyrus

I recently came across an article about the celebrity Miley Cyrus and her father's regrets of how he had raised her over at Focus on the Family. You can read the story here:

He shares this quote:

"How many interviews did I give and say, 'You know what's important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids'? I said it a lot. And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, 'You don't need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.' Well, I'm the first guy to say to them right now: You were right. I should have been a better parent. I should have said, 'Enough is enough--it's getting dangerous and somebody's going to get hurt.' I should have, but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere."

My heart is truly saddened for this father whose daughter has been launched into stardom realizing what he could have done best the first time around--I believe that it is so important to protect our children--especially our daughters. Daughters can be very naive and vulnerable to the world and truly need to rely upon parental guidance even when they don't think that they need it. I also believe that a father can continue to protect a daughter even after she has turned eighteen. Whether daughters live in the home or not, fathers can still play an active role in their daughter's lives through their active love relationship with  them and giving them much-needed, valuable, wise advice.

This should be a wake up call to parents who believe that it is good to be 'friends' with their children and not a parent. Children really do need a parent to be a parent and not a friend--as the article wisely states they will have many friends in a lifetime but only one set of parents. Many times parents can grow weary, feeling like they are alone in their parenting, that they are the only ones setting rules and limitations. A man will reap what he sows,  that is why it is important to remember that we do these things to bring God glory and not to please man---even  if the rest of the world is not doing it.

The image above reminds me how a young daughter adores her father and needs protection. While Billy Ray and Miley made mistakes, just as we all have, we need to really pray for this family and other families that are going through the same circumstances. It is not out of his hands as a father--he can still love her, protect her, guide her and reclaim their relationship. His broken family can be made whole again--with Christ there is always grace, forgiveness and hope.

If you have a wayward child, it is NEVER too late. Chase after them with all your might and do what you can to gain their hearts--our time here on earth is too short. Do it to win him/her for the King.

We also want to avoid any regrets since the window of raising children is also short.
Though we are imperfect as parents
May we learn from another man's mistakes
as we pray for him
and persevere in our convictions
and do our best
without growing weary

in raising our children
for His glory.



Brenda said...

I had not seen this article. Their family does indeed need prayer. Thank you for this sensitive and serious reminder to parent our children.

Unknown said...

My heart goes out to Billy. We can pray for him and pray that he doesnt dwell on the past but works on the future. You are so right about sheltering our children. God puts us into every situation to see how we will glorify Him, sometimes we fail and sometime we get it right. Bottom line when we decide to give it all to God, He will show us the right way!

Thanks for the this great reminder! You might enjoy my blog that I just wrote about raising boys to make a covenant with their eyes.

Have a blessed weekend!

Laura Gabriele said...

Thank you for this thoughtful post about Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus. There is plenty to be learned from the mistakes of others! I can't imagine the tremendous pressure must weigh on parents of famous children. Still, if they'd only give that burden to God and just listen to what HE has said about parenting... things would be different. It feels better to give the child what they want all the time and earn their "friendship", but it's the child who should be earning the parent's respect all the way through adulthood. NOT the other way around.

Laura Gabriele said...

Thank you for posting about Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus. There is plenty to be learned from the mistakes of others! A parent needn't try to gain the respect of their children, it's the other way around!

To me, being the "nice guy" all the time and trying to be the child's "friend" is such a cop-out. There is love, beauty, and truth in discipline. I am able to say my Dad is a great man not because of how he felt like one of my teenage friends, but because he showed me what a good man and a good father is, and what to look for in a husband! I'd rather have a good Dad than a famous one... my Dad's rewards are in heaven, not here on Earth.

Thanks again for your post, Mrs. Fuentes!

Natalya said...

What was most encouraging to be about the story was all the people who commented and said something like "We should all pray for the Cyrus family" :) That's such a positive thing to say. :) I never knew her real name is Destiny Hope Cyrus. Maybe someday her name will become real. I hope someday (soon) she will be Hope to all those who know her. God can ever change a pop star. :)

Rachel said...

I love this post! Yes, we can learn from one another while we accept God's grace for the areas in our own lives that need improving not judgmentally but with love and grace and encouragement for one another. Raising children in Jesus these days can be hard but of course is so worth it! I'm so thankful for words like this in the process. Thanks, June :).

Don and Shelly said...

The only real difference between them and so many parents we've known is the amount of money being thrown at the disfunction. I hope the Cyrus family truly realizes... TRULY realizes the full implications of this error and will do all possible to reverse it. We pray for them and all of those that have bought into Satan's lie of "hands-off" parenting. Too many times we've been accused of sheltering our children, but as parents, isn't that part of our job? If we don't do it the world will then determine what is within bounds and what is not. Once you've allowed that to happen, chaos will ensue. We've always told our children that as much as we love them, we are their parents-- not their friends. If they're looking for friendship... we direct them to the next bedroom down the hall... that their best friends live in the same house. Blessings!

Unknown said...

I've not read this article but I feel sorry for this family. It's sad that it took this long to realize that all the celebrity status and money means nothing and the best gifts you can offer your children is what they can take into eternity.

We all make mistakes as parents and I pray that they move forward as a family and put their trust in the Lord

Unknown said...

Amen. Child rearing is a huge responsibility as the Children we have are gifts for us to raise in the Godly fear and admonition of the Lord. As cute as Miley may have been dancing on Disney, the lust for more fame and/or money is leading her down the path to be the next Brittney Spears. A very serious subject and as you said a father and family in need of prayer and wisdom.

Miss Janet said...

Hello Miss June! Good to hear from you. We are in Cedar Lake now. It's just a temporary house. We don't have a contract so we can leave when we are ready. We are faithfully waiting on God! ;) He is good to us and we are blessed.

If you don't mind me asking, why do you ask?

I did respond through an email also.


Homeschool on the Croft said...

What a well written and thoughtful piece of writing.

Sarah H said...

Fame and money are difficult burdens to bear - especially for a young girl who didn't have the parental guidance she perhaps should have done.

Your post hits just the right note:

It is not out of his hands as a father--he can still love her, protect her, guide her and reclaim their relationship. His broken family can be made whole again--with Christ there is always grace, forgiveness and hope.

I will be praying. What a beautiful and gracious God we serve that He can always restore 'what the locust has eaten' if we come to Him for help.

Tamara said...

I was very touched by this father's humble response. It is indeed an opportunity to minister to this family through prayer.. Thank you for bringing the need to the forefront. God is a God of loving compassion, forgiveness and restoration.

Tamara said...

I was touched by the humble response of the father. It is indeed an opportunity for ministry to the family by interceding. God is a loving God of compassion, forgiveness and restoration.

Lisa said...

Amen, Amen, Amen! The Cyrus family appears to have become the poster family for disfunction these days. May God have mercy on them. Admitting one's failures is the first step. Falling on our faces before our most merciful Heavenly Father comes next. What a fantastic testimony this family could be to the transforming power of our great God! May He have mercy on them and all of us as we seek to raise our sweet blessings to His glory. ~Lisa

Unknown said...

Check out this great book on raising daughters: Five Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter by Viki Courtney. A must read!


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