Saturday, May 1, 2010

A Wise Mother Guards Her Time


She was busy running the women's ministry at church. She would rush home and get ready for her MOPS meeting and then later in the day she knew she would somehow try to fit in the desperately needed shopping trip to host the monthly bible study in her home. She also had to run Johnny to soccer practice and little Suzy to her ballet class. She had forgotten to make dinner again and hubby would be home soon not to mention she hadn't touched the growing pile of laundry for days. She was tired, overwhelmed, and burnt out.

With all these seemingly good activites, she felt a gnawing at her soul. She had not read to her children for months, and yesterday she had yelled at her husband because she felt burdened by all the housework that she had to do when she finally did make it home from being out. She sunk despairingly down into her chair and saw an unfinished sewing project laying in a basket nearby and wondered when she would ever have time to even think about when she could complete such a project. She knew something in her life was amiss---but didn't she have the life she had always dreamed of? Didn't she take on these commitments with good intentions to serving her Lord?

Women were designed to be helpmeets, it is within our intrinsic nature to want to be available whenever there is a need. But we often do not pray before we take on new commitments as we blindly nod and say yes to fill someone elses needs. We forget to seek wise counsel and ask our husband what he thinks. Before we know it we have schedules that are swamped with well-meaning duties and obligations that were never intended for us, distracting us from our first responsibilities---time with God, our husbands and our children.

We have forsaken what is good with what is BEST. The days can be filled with many temptations, all enticing our souls, minds and our hearts away what is God's best for us. I believe many of us unknowingly choose such busyness for our lives falsely assuming it is the norm, but what we really need is to just live more simply. Simplicity helps to restore peace and order.

Sometimes we need to pare away the unnecessary things in our lives. This might be saying no to outside activities or events. This might be stepping down from some ministry positions we have found ourselves in. This could be putting some of your favorite craft projects on hold to be able to do some real work around the home. This might also mean taking a long break from the internet if we find it always tugging at our hearts pulling us away from our first duties.

If we find ourselves unsure if this is taking place we should ask ourselves a few questions: Are our homes in order? Are we getting meals to our husbands on time? Is the training and education of our children being neglected? Are the clothes in good repair and washed? All of these things take time and they are important. The mandate in Titus 2 is to love our husbands, love our children, to be self controlled, pure, kind, keepers at home and submissive to our own husbands, so that the word of God may not blasphemed. When we are doing these things, we are doing the Lord's work that He commanded us to do. These things to do not have to perfect, no home with people living in it will ever be, but we need to try to do our best in doing what we can in our circumstances.

Mother, turn your heart towards home!!! If you have a straying heart that always wants to be out shopping and driving all over town, surfing the net, emotionally distracted and absent with the non-important, pray that the Lord will give you a heart to stay home, to be present, to love it and to faithfully learn how to manage it well.

 It is well known that the woman is the heart of the home------but if she is gone all the time, now the home is lonely and empty. The mother is the one who helps fulfill the vision of her husband and puts into action cultivating the culture, warmth, order and atmosphere of the home, something that is impossible to fulfill being physically or mentally absent.It is hard to look well to the ways of our home and those in it if we are distracted by other so called "good" commitments or pursuits that are not required of us.

We must use our best energies toward giving our all to our loved ones, not just our leftovers. May the Lord give us all wisdom on what might need to be eliminated from our lives, or our children's lives, to preserve the sanctity of our precious family time and to manage our homes well.







                                                                  Encouraged here?



46 comments:

  1. Excellent, excellent post - and so something I needed to hear. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. That is so very true, as a helpmeet who thrived on being a helpmeet and then got away from that goal (very long and personal story) This post is so needful.

    We tend to try to fill our lives up with pursuits that look great to others but they are not the best thing. Our home and our family have been given to us by our Loving Heavenly Father, He knows where we need to be. And knows that it is best for us

    Thank you for such a wonderful post!!

    ~~~In HIS Keeping,
    Mrs.B~~~

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  3. Really great post. I have had those times in my life that I have realized that I just needed to say no to some things. To focus my attentions in my home. =0)

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  4. Thank you so much for this, June. It is such a wonderful affirmation of all the Lord has placed within my heart to do.

    Even if we have these convictions, the pull to other things doesn't ever go away.

    (Double that if you are a pastor's wife!)

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  5. Awesome post. Just the shot in the arm I needed today. Thank you!!

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  6. And, in todays world...most women work outside the home..add that to all the rest of it and you have one hassled, frenzied woman who has no time to be sane let alone be a wife and mother! The whole world has turned up side down!

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  7. I have a question for you and the readers. I have been on a long time hunt for a blog that is totally devoted to studying the Bible. Whether it's an entire book of the Bible, or on a certian Biblical topic...I just can't seem to find one.

    Please, do any of you know of such a blog? I would love to come on each morning with a cup of coffee/tea and join in a Bible Study.

    I'm looking for something that would almost be like leaving to go to a Bible Study except you just have to logon. Know of any?

    Thanks so much!

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  8. June,

    I meant to ask you where you get all those beautiful graphics and if there are enough variety of them available so that copycat sites aren't being created.

    I did find a couple that I've used on past blog posts that are the same like the lady on horseback with her knight, but you seem to have found a goldmine!

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  9. Hello, I was wondering where and how you get all of the beautiful pictures on your blog. Please email me at sflonestar@clearwire.net, or leave a comment on my blog, feminismtofaithfulness.blogspot.com. Thank you so much.

    Sierra

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  10. What a beautiful piece!! Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful wisdom. I truly believe the woman is indeed the heart of the home and you put it very eloquently.

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  11. This was such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.

    I often say "no" and then feel guilty for it...like I'm not doing enough outside of the home for the Church or friends and neighbors.

    But, here's the catch...after being a crazed work-outside-the-home mother for 3 years, I decided to quit my job and jump into being a wife and mother full-time.

    Can I honestly say that I don't know how I did it all...possibly b/c I didn't do it all? I love being home with my two littles so much that I just can't bring myself to too many commitments outside of the home. Soccer and ballet lessons for the 5 year old are enough for now. We haven't enrolled our 3-year old son in any activities, including preschool. There's time enough for that next year.

    And, I feel like God is watching and blessing my family...I'm about to enter my 3rd trimeter! For the first time I will get to experience mothering my baby BEYOND 12-weeks! No anxiety about returning to work, pumping, running on empty, etc.!

    Love your blog...I'm a newer follower,

    Valerie

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  12. Thank you for this reminder that you can never hear enough times. I have heard it and do well and then get sidetracked again. Thank you!

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  13. This breathed life deep into my spirit. Can't get enough. I have found myself feeling guilty about leaving my blog to linger for days at a time. How backwards that is, as I must be more concerned with the welfare of my home. Thank God that I have consciously told myself time and time again that my family comes first; especially when i feel badly to have to say
    no.

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  14. I learned this one the hard way. Finally after two years of dragging my (then) two children everywhere to this ministry and that, this Bible study and that one, I gave up and decided to stay home and invite people to our house instead. It gave a whole new meaning to hospitality.

    I love being home and now and hate it when sports or other things interfere withour dinnertime.

    The ministry will always be there, my children won't.

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  15. This is wonderful. Thank-you! You've expressed so much of what I have been feeling lately.

    Blessings!

    :)Tiana

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  16. Amen and amen! So true and sometimes its hard to remember!

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  17. I was wondering what materials you recommended for family catechism? I stumbled across the book, Training Hearts Teaching Minds by Starr Meade. Would you recommend it?

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  18. What an excellent reminder. Your blog is so encouraging. Thank you!

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  19. I suppose I could "walk" home if my toes weren't so sore. Thanks for stepping on them. :) I appreciated this post.

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  20. This post meant so much to me and truly God placed it in my life in His timing as it instigated me making some changes in how I spend my time. I hope you don't mind, but I linked to this post from my blog. I can remove it if you want me to.
    With great appreciation, Dea

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  21. Thank you for an excellent article! As a SAH homeschooling pastor's wife, I needed this!

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  22. Do you have any advice for a woman whose husband wants her to say yes to so many outside commitments? We have often belonged to megachurches where the emphasis is on many committees, groups, meetings, etc. and one is always being asked to help out with this or that. My heart is towards home (especially after having children) but he wants me to accept all these requests. It was a constant struggle and now that I actually do have a bit more free time, I still feel reluctant because I know once you say yes to one thing, you will be asked many more. I really don't want to get back on the treadmill!! Any suggestions are appreciated!

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  23. Just found your blog through a friend and wanted to thank you for this timely post! I appreciate your perspective and the needed reminder that our homes are to come first.

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  24. I came over from Joy's blog, and I would love to share this link on my blog as well, if that's ok. Thanks for your encouragement...this was refreshing. It's so easy to think that everything "out there" is more important, especially when you're involved in ministry.

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  25. wow that is so inspiring! I try to make it a priority to be home most of the time. And I feel pressure from others that I am not doing enough. Thank you for encouraging me in my purpose to serve!!!!!!

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  26. This is wonderful! God has been speaking to my heart about this very subject. Thank you for reaffirming what I was hearing!

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  27. I wanted to let you know I've picked you for one of my twelve for the Sunrise Award. Thank you for your posts!!
    http://mymarriageismyjob.blogspot.com/2010/05/sunshine-award.html

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  28. Thank you for your graceful blog. Such a light. I look forward to reading your encouraging lines. So helpful!

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  29. I love your blog! What you have said here is true for all ladies. A wise lady once said to me, "God gives us all the time we need to accomplish what He wants us to do. There is no such thing as 'not enough time.'" When we find ourselves frantic, rushing, and thinking, "I don't have a enough time," we've probably allowed our time to be taken up with things God has not commanded us in Scripture to do, that is, we've substituted good things for the best things.

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  30. I really needed to read this, thank you so much for sharing it.

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  31. Thank you for the beautiful post. These thoughts have been on my heart and in my mind over the last several months. I appreciate the reminder that it is okay to say no!

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  32. Thank you so much for this wonderful post. It came just at the right time for me. I'm a stay-at-home-mom, but often find myself mentally/emotionally/spiritually elsewhere. This is the first time I've visited your site--what an inspirational blog!

    Thanks again,
    Katie

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  33. Sometimes we are so pressured to do things, (that are good) but they take away from our time being keepers at home. Thanks for the reminder. God Bless

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  34. This is such wise advice. I don't have kids at home anymore but can have the same problems about how I spend my time. I still have a home and hubby and grandchildren.
    Thanks you for your blog, I like all of your posts! They are very helpful.
    Sharon

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  35. Thanks for sharing! I've found myself distracted and absent lately. It begins with being overwhelmed to do it all. Instead of worrying about EVERYTHING I need to just do the next thing. Timely post for me....

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  36. Just what I needed to hear thanks. You put into words what I have been feeling for a while now.

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  37. I need some advice. My unsaved husband wants me to work...thankfully he is ok with part time...but still I am very tired and overwhelmed and not getting to the things that would honor God. Above all I know my working is allowing him to escape his sense of failure and responsibility (which he has expressed to me) that he is not providing adequately and at his level of capablility (MBA in HS grad level job). I have talked to him about my helping him find work that he loves and is challenged by (as he talks about so desiring, but out of comfort and laziness and fear he does not pursue). I know I can suffer all things and count it joy, and I do, but to see this time going by with children to still raise (12, 16) and a husband to encourage and 25 hours a week going to work outside the home...but with such a high calling to be filled at home that my husband does not understand...what can I do? Am I asking too much to be home? Is God dishonored that I work in this circumstance? Please do you have any advice?

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  38. Dear LisaJ,

    Here is my advice to you:

    1.PRAY and be patient.

    2. Continue to be a godly wife and mother in the circumstances you are in right now.

    3. Trust in God. He can be trusted in all situations, whether you are a stay at home mom, working part-time or full-time. Petition Him for all your needs.

    4. Be thankful and content in the time you do have at home and make the most of it, put all that you have into your husband, family and home. Ask the Lord to give you strength when you are weary and exhausted.

    5. I do not believe that the Lord is dishonored if you are submitting to your husband. Continue to love your husband and respect him, you may find yourself winning him over for Christ. (1 Peter 3:1-7)

    I will be praying for you.

    Many blessings...

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  39. AMEN!!! I ahve been searching through these same thoughts. Im sure but...I even blogged about it:)

    http://handfulofellers.blogspot.com/2010/04/daily-epiphany-baby-reminder.html

    I am IN it and can see thsi isnt the way. It is so nice to hear a Titus 2 mom say that it isnt and put a little more thought and fact into what God has been convicting my heart with.

    Thank you so much for that:)

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  40. It is so easy to slip out of what's important and focus on other commitments. I love reading your post and I needed this reminder too. Thank you!

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  41. I just want to say what a blessing your blog has been to me. I've started following it several months ago, but have never left a comment. I know this is an older post, but it did speak to me, and where I am at right now. Thanks so much for sharing!

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  42. Hi June,

    I'm one of your new followers. I just want to thank you for this wonderful post. This truly has ministered to me. I honestly thought that when I decided to stay at home full time I'm already doing my part as a homemaker, but I realized I have allowed my time to be stolen by spending so much of it on the internet.

    Thank you for your convicting but gentle reminder that mothers SHOULD return their focus to home... whether that be from the busyness of an outside career and activities, or the time-consuming internet browsing.

    Thank you and be blessed always!

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  43. Thank you for this word from God..... I'm a mother of 4 and a wife. It can get hectic sometimes but if I put my time in order everything will begin to fall into place.

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