Tuesday, June 24, 2008

All the Days of Her Life

This past Sunday my pastor gave a great message, one of the subjects he talked about was the Proverbs 31:12 verse,

"She brings him good and not harm, all the days of her life."

He was talking about daughters this time and sharing how a young woman can keep her life pure so she will bring her future husband good. Not just once the vows are made but way, way before that. How she has a responsibility according to this verse to come into the marriage PURE and spending her early years beforehand preparing herself for her future husband and home.

I have heard this taught before and thought it to be very compelling in the sense that a girl does not have to waste her time before she is married to begin 'real life'. There is so much a girl can do---how important it is for her to prepare herself! Imagine if we had had the time to prepare---if our parents had directed us purposefully to 'redeem the time' of our childhood so many of our past mistakes that would not have been.

I was also saddened to hear of the recent story of 17 highschool girls who were under the age of 16 and apparently one of the babies were fathered by a twenty-four year old homeless man. My heart cried out----where was the vision? Where were there parents? How could these girls get so off track?

Instead of squandering her time, a young lady could do many things to prepare herself not just for her future husband and home but also for the Lord's work that He will have planned for her. The most important thing she can do is grow closer to the Lord by spending time in the Word. It will help keep her from going astray and she will be laying a good foundation for herself and her family later. We all know that when the children start coming along it is alot harder to study in depth then---so now is an excellent time to take advantage of that.

It is important to grow her skills in cooking, cleaning, household management, reading books on being a godly wife/ training children and mentoring under older, godly women. She can learn valuable resourceful skills such as sewing, knitting, gardening, playing an instrument and she can devote more time to being missional in her family with her siblings, neighbors and world. She can minister in her local church and help moms there in need---this will give her much necessary practice for later. She can help instruct the little ones in her own family and help mentor and influence them towards godliness, for her first affections and loyalties should first be toward her home she lives in now. A young girl should NEVER waste her time, but she should be a good steward of it, always remembering to bless others with her gifts, time and talents. She should be challenged---perhaps write a book for children, perform a musical piece for church, encourage and help support a missions family in another country---the list is endless.

I urge you to think out of the box. If a fifteen year old boy can build his own home, then we absolutely should raise the bar of expectations for our children, for His glory alone, and never to impress others with trophy children or prideful parenting. We cannot risk not breathing and speaking vision into our daughters lives.We cannot grow weary of the holy responsibility---the humbling and glorious calling of raising up the next generation whom will impact this world for our King, Jesus Christ.


Mrs. Amy Brigham said...

It's so very nice to see another family that shares our very thoughts on this *important* verse. So often I have looked back at my life, especially during my teens, with such regret of how I spent my time, and how this poor use of time left me with much to learn and master "on the job" in my earliest days of marriage and mothering, and the catch up even continues now.

Already Peapod is becoming quite the little homemaker. She knows how to clean up her own spills, helps wash the floor, puts laundry away, and just the other day insisted on helping me carry trash to the dumpster *all by herself.* I could hardly believe that such a little girl could carry a bag for such a distance, but she did, complete with a smile & clapping once she finished her task. :o)

Mrs. Anna T said...

Dear Mrs. Fuentes, sadly, I didn't use my time, talents and energy wisely as a young girl. Rather, I succumbed to all the typical patterns of our generation. I was 20 when I realized I want to be a good wife and started preparing for that role. Until then, a lot of damage has been done, and since then, a lot of catching up had to be done. At 22 I found myself married, and as a newlywed, I'm so thankful that the Lord opened my eyes at least two short years before it happened, to allow me to prepare for the important role of being a wife.

Lori... said...

Hi June,

This is Lori at Beyond the Garden - I sent a comment letting you know that I was [at least] one of the women that wanted to have you as a guest on my blog.

The post I would like for you to ponder over for my blog is much like this post. I am a younger[er] mother of two wonderful daughters. They are never-the-less getting older and neither my husband nor myself were brought up in a household that believed in women being "keepers of the home". We were both ENcouraged to dating, but never encouraged (or talked to) about purity - just not to get pregnant. Never were we brought up with the mindset of staying at home until marriage, but rather get out as soon as you are 18. College-bound or not -

I guess I would like for you to visit this topic (much like this post) and give some advice as to resources, ideas on how to train our children in this way...whatever the Spirit leads you to in this capacity.

Since I am clueless about this topic, I don't really even know what to ask, but I want/NEED to know. This is kind of a selfish interview as it is really I that want the information, BUT I figure there have to be more young[er] women out there, like me, that are in the same boat and could use similar encouragement. Where did you start? How did you come to know HOW to raise your children in this manner?

Thank you so much! You can email me at x_quisit_1[at]yahoo.com or you can go to beyondthegarden.org and use the "contact us" page. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Mrs.L said...

I agree with Mrs.Brigham.Sadly many of my years were wasted.Forunately I am training my own sweet ones to be keepers at home and to learn the skills that go with it.
What bothers me so much is I see many mothers that are pushing careers and say that until the right man comes along their daughters will have something to do.
Isn't preparing for your future life with your spouse and children important enough to train for?

no treasures on earth said...

When I read the news about those young girls in New England I had the same response as yourself - where were the parents? But the world is encouraging women, young and old to see been a good wife a bit "old fashioned". I too, was not encouaged to be a good wife, instead I was encouraged to get a career and make lots of money. It took me a long time to learn the vision that the Lord had for me. I am still learning.



Sarah Mae said...

Hello, :)

I was wondering if you received my interview questions?

Cath said...

Dear Mrs. Fuentes,
Your post made me cry! At 41 I have a ton of regret about my past. I would love it if my daughters didn't have to go through all the trials I did. Please tell me it's possible!!! Even with friends and relatives telling me that I'm too overprotective - they will revolt the first chance they get - you can't keep an eye on them forever - they need to make their own mistakes. It makes me sick/sad to think they will be like the mainstream kids! I don't want that for them.
Sorry, I'm rambling...I just really need to know that there is hope!

boutcrazy said...

I love visitng your blog. It's like stepping back into a gentler time. It calms my soul. I was a stay at home mom for 14 years, until 7 years ago my husband was hurt and God sent me to the workplace. He was kind and sent me to a Christian environment. But I long to be at home again even though my children are getting older. Just last night, my 19 yr old daughter, who is moving back home, and I were talking about our looking forward to encourage each other through our sewing together. I taught her at a young age to sew and she is now in fashion design college. Thank you for reminding mothers what the big picture is.

Ebony TyShell said...

Oh how I could've benefitted from a post like this several years ago. I'm a young single mother and have made many wrong decisions. I can't imagine living my life and not doing eveything possible to help my daughters and son make better decisions than I did. I feel sorry for those young girls because they have no idea how difficult they've made their lives. I've learned that God gives us rules for a reason. Oh how much more abundant our lives would be if we could just do things His way instead of ours.

Mrs. June Fuentes said...

Dear Ladies,

I share you sentiments regarding wasted years---how I wish I could go back and redeem the time the locusts have stolen. But I am grateful to know what the Mighty Lord has saved me from, I am forever grateful. And this new life He has richly lavished me with---I am so undeserving!


That sounds great--I would love to share...will email you shortly.

Sara Mae,

Yes, I did, I am halfway through the questions---I am looking forward to finishing them probably tonight. Please bear with me---I am a mama of 8 blessings who like to keep me very occupied!

Many blessings...

Daughter of the King said...

I think this is so horrible as it is a symptom of the state of our families. So many just really want someoen to LOVE THEM and be there for them, and the parents are, just when THEY have time...and the problem is they DON'T really have time, do they?
Yes, where are the parents? I can only guess.

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