Sunday, January 10, 2010

Respecting Sons

“That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth.”
Psalm 144:12

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Sons are different than daughters. God has created our sons to grow up and become leaders and providers. Because of this, it is very important that we treat them in a way that is respectful so that he will have the confidence that he needs to do the many courageous things that God will call him to do.

Respecting Sons
1. Make it a priority to show respect to your husband first.

A. Understand that your son will respect you in direct proportion to your respect for his dad.
B. Mothers must teach their daughters to respect their brothers.

2. Verbalize your respect through praise of his achievements.
A. Admire him for his accomplishments.
B. Respect is connected to real achievements.

3. Give him responsibilities and expect him to fulfill his obligations.
A. Mothers should have high standards for their sons.

4. Common courtesy is a central aspect of respect.
A. Resist the temptation to make fun of your son in public.
B. Don’t share his weaknesses or failures with others.
C. Embarrassing your son in public is always disrespectful.
D. Make every effort to correct your son in private.

Remember this: boys who are braggarts or spend a lot of time showing off in front of others are usually lacking in respect. A boy who is respected will usually have more confidence and be more prone to good behavior.

Responsible Sons
1. We must prepare our sons to go out into the world, face obstacles, work hard, and provide for a household with integrity.

A. Mothers can unwittingly undermine this preparation by mollycoddling, pampering or overprotecting) their sons.
B. Mothers should avoid fighting their son’s battles and sheltering them from the consequences of their actions.
C. Mother should not rush to her son’s defense ~ sons who grow up looking to Mom to fix everything will look for the same thing in a wife :).

2. Sons must learn to take responsibility.
A. Sons must not be allowed to make excuses for their mistakes.
B. Mothers must resist the temptation to “feel sorry” for their sons when they fail.

3. Mothers should avoid being drawn into an adversarial relationship with her son.

A. Mothers must remember that they are in authority over the son until he is grown and should not argue with him as if he were an adult.
B. Mothers should strive to be good listeners and allow Dad to handle the big problems.
C. Mothers must give commands and then expect those commands to be followed without back talk.

4. Sons must not be trained to be home-centered.

A. Mothers must make it their goal to teach their sons that the pattern of homemaking is not the pattern of their future life.
B. Sons are to be raised and trained to leave the home and go out into the world and conquer it!
C. Mothers must remember that they are not the role model for their sons ~ he must be taught to love, admire and appreciate his mother, and learn very early on to follow in the footsteps of his father.

5. Sons must be taught to be self-controlled.

A. Indulging a son will lead him to live an undisciplined life.
B. You want your son to be self-governed, so that when he is older, he will not have to be governed by someone else.
C. Training your son to be self-controlled must begin when he is just a wee little boy (under the age of two years old).
D. Schedule and routine is your best tool of teaching self-control to a young child (this little bit of advice came from me, not the book).

Religious Sons
1. Sons demonstrate their faith differently than daughters do.
2. Look for ways that he is demonstrating his faith in his every day life and activities.
3. Don’t discourage your son for being vocal about his beliefs.

If God has given you the opportunity to mother a son, consider yourself blessed. The little boy in your home now will soon grow up to be a grown man in our society later. Ask God to help you to respect him and raise him in a way that he will grow up to be a responsible man who is able to work hard and lead well. May God bless you and encourage you as you do.

-This article is from Mrs. Julie Fink @ Lessons for Ladies

Thank you so much for sharing your wise insight!


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Mary said...

Thank you for that, June!

Amy said...

Is the information in this article taken from Nancy Wilson's book "Praise Her In the Gates"? I've been reading it this week and finding a lot of helpful wisdom. The chapter on Respecting Sons was especially helpful for me as I grew up without brothers and feel very much like a fish out of water with my two boys. Raising my daughter comes far more naturally to me. I thank God for my husband who is very involved in my children's lives, especially my sons!

Julie Harward said...

I recently found this blog and there much good here...beautiful images that I too love. Thank you for injecting good into the world. Come say hi :D

Linda said...

This was such a good post. I never had sons...but I do have 6 grandsons. I pray for them all of the time.

I see a couple of them from a broken home straying from the narrow path and it breaks my heart. I try to be an encourager but when I do talk to them they tune me out. They are 13 and 14 and I don't want them to go off into the world and do what everyone else is doing...but to have character and strength to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord.

This is hard when their dad isn't doing what he should.

But as I said, I am praying for them and so is my husband.


Shelly said...

Thank you for sharing this post; just what I needed to "hear" today.

Tracy said...

I read often, but rarely comment. I LOVED this post! As a mother of two boys, I agree with everything wholeheartedly. Thank you!

Gail said...

We don't have sons, but this is still so helpful. As God directs, we will be on the lookout FOR sons in the near future (read: sons-in-law), and this helps us to remember what we must be looking for.
As always, I thank you for this ministry!

Tamara said...

I love Julie Fink's lessons!!!She has several different sites and they are a Blessing.....Thank you for posting this....
Mrs. Fuentes, your site has been such a Blessing to me as well....
Thank you for taking the time to minister to women.
God Bless you and your family.

Deborah said...

Thank you for sharing! I have three sons, age 5 and under and found this very encouraging!

Jessalyn said...

I too read this information first in Nancy Wilson's book "Praise Her In the Gates". Great stuff

Camie said...

Wonderful post! I'm thankful that I have found your blog! I have been blessed with 4 daughters and one son. I usually get a lot of pitying comments on his part. But the way I see it is that he is blessed to have so many sisters and his sisters blessed to have a brother! There is something special about a son isn't there!

Blessings to you! You are an incredible writer!

Finding Joy said...

As a mother of 2 sons (22 and 17), I have taught mine how to cook and clean as one never knows when these skills will be useful. Both my sons love to cook and one cooks for his girlfriend and her family often. He gets great pleasure out of it.

Teaching sons to be respectful, kind and caring to women is very important.

Parisienne Farmgirl said...

Thank you so much for this wonderful article!!!

Ginger said...

thank you

With the anti men sentiments these days, mothers need all the help they can get to counteract Satan's deceptions. I love my sons, but found the culture against them becoming men.

June Fuentes @ A Wise Woman Builds Her Home said...

Hi ladies,

I think Mrs. Fink may have made a note in her series giving credit to Nancy Wilson's book. I've read it a long while back and enjoyed much of it. My husband also enjoys Doug Wilson's books as well.


I do believe it is a challenge for men to understand what godly manliness is and looks like today, just as it is for women. I believe it is so important to guide them when they are young and imprint it on their lives early enough so they get the best start.

Many blessings...

Jeska ♥ said...

thank you thank you thank you! for sharing this beatiful post, I have three boys and let me tell you that I do feel like I have this really big responsibility but lack of all the knowelge I need to raise this boys, I know we have the bible but it does help to see it from other mom's perspective and experiences, thanks alot, this post brought tears because I always think of how are my boys going to grow up to be like? how can I train them to grow up to be leaders and good man, man that fear God?

Rhonda Devine said...

Great post! Very well said and very much needed in the homeschool community--as moms, we have to guard against coddling as our boys get older and encourage them to do the hard things.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. The music makes me feel so calm, and I'll admit, I've actually blogged complaining about sites that automatically play music (due to being in bed and stumbling on them while dh sleeps :)). Anyhow, this is lovely and making me consider some music also :). Love this post! I wonder if we're on the same loop as I recently received this, also!

TJ said...

Thanks for this post. It confirmed some things I have been thinking about as I have been reading a book called Love and Respect. Boys are different but I have been enjoying watching my son grow into a young man.

Joyful_Momma said...

Thank you for posting that! I have three sons, so far. Saving the link to this to refer back to later!

Marmee's Pantry said...

Such excellent advice. As the mother of 2 young women (22 & almost 19), I pray that my future son-in-laws are being raised this way.

Blessings from Ohio...Kim W<><

Chantel said...

I read this last week. And I tell ya it really gave me new vigor in my approach to our young son. He is 7 years old, and quite a character. He is reserved, yet fiery, very playful, sensitive, and has a huge heart, whering it on his sleeves. I find myself trying to figure out how to respond to his mixture, being the big brother three little sisters... this post was awesome. It is being printed out and looked at each day for a gentle reminder.

Ada said...

i am always amazed at the very important lessons i learn whenever i visit this blog. i have learnt some stuff on how to raise my lovely gift from God. Keep this good work going, many people are benefiting.

C said...

Where do you get your pictures? I'm wondering because if they are in actual print, I would love to order this picture. It has so many meanings. My FIL taught hubby so much and now I know my hubby will do the same for our 2 boys.


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