"And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."
~Titus 2:4-5
We all want to be the wise woman who builds up her home but the honest truth is that sometimes we are not so wise. In fact, we might be more like a foolish woman instead who tears down her home.
" The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1
There are so many ways we might tear down our home and some of us might not even realize it. Some ways are obvious and some ways are not so much. The Scriptures sets the example for us as how our husbands should be able to trust in us:
"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."
I would love for you to go over this quick list over at True Woman and read the helpful list there entitled:
1. You throw him under the bus in public.
When you point out his faults, criticize, or correct him, he feels like an idiot in front of others—and that's demeaning. Don't embarrass him in any way (especially in front of your children). Would you want him to do that to you?
2. You remind him of his past failures.
It's something that was settled long ago (or maybe just last week), and you just can't seem to let it go. We've all failed. Let go of things that have already been worked through and settled. If there are unresolved issues that were never dealt with biblically, take steps to graciously resolve them and move on.
Read the rest HERE.
As a new Christian I would have loved to have read a list like this and now after 20 years of marriage I believe this is a great list and reminder.
I hope you find it insightful and helpful towards building a stronger marriage!
Do you struggle with respecting and loving your husband? What is the hardest part for you? Leave a comment below to share with us.
Prayer: Dear God, please help me to be the wife that you want me to be. I struggle at times to to obey your word and need your wisdom and guidance in all things. Help me to apply what I know you have commanded and to focus on loving and respecting my husband to bring You glory. Help me to remember that my husband is a sinner in need of your grace just like me and to show mercy, patience, and forgiveness towards Him as I would like to receive it. Help me to see our marriage in new eyes and thank you for the husband that you have given me. I pray this in Jesus' holy name, amen.
Do you struggle with this topic? We highly recommend this book for further reading: How to Build a Strong Christian Home
Art by D. Gerhartz
Hi
ReplyDeleteI struggle with respecting my husband and to trust him fully, he once hurt me by getting another woman pregnant and cheated again with another woman. It has been 3 years but I can't forgive him fully and forget what he did. He is an untidy person so when I ask him to clew an after himself he starts saying hurt full words like I am not woman enough for him, I disrespect him and I belittle him. I am falling out of love each time he says something hurtful. I love my husband but I am tired of feeling hurt. We are a young couple and we have two kids and he is my first.
Yeah you're not the problem. He is. He's obviously still struggling in some way with what he has done and choices he's made. It's still up to every human to treat those around us with respect regardless of whether they treat us that way. But this isn't a matter of "be a better wife so he can finally be a good husband" either. Try counseling (alone if he refuses to come with you). I feel for you as I spent many years in a very very similar position before he "fell for" one of his baby trysts and said he wanted a divorce. Heartbreaking but also the freedom I ultimately needed from such an abusive relationship ( and yes talking to you like that is absolutely abuse).
DeleteYeah you're not the problem. He is. He's obviously still struggling in some way with what he has done and choices he's made. It's still up to every human to treat those around us with respect regardless of whether they treat us that way. But this isn't a matter of "be a better wife so he can finally be a good husband" either. Try counseling (alone if he refuses to come with you). I feel for you as I spent many years in a very very similar position before he "fell for" one of his baby trysts and said he wanted a divorce. Heartbreaking but also the freedom I ultimately needed from such an abusive relationship ( and yes talking to you like that is absolutely abuse).
DeleteIf he is treating you like this it will only get worse. God can restore your life. You have every right not to trust him he is not trustworthy. He is to love you like Christmas loved the church that he gave himself up for her. Can you truly say your husband is loving you in this way? If not I would begin to pray for him and his life. Pray an hour or more a day. Fast and really pray hard for him. Maybe you could also try counseling with a pastor or Christian counselor? If none of thsee things work then I would reconsider this marriage. God hates divorce and he hates sin but he will forgive and restore your life. He did it for me. You should not have to live in such an awful marriage. He needs to work hard to ear your trust and it will take a long time. But this is his mess. Praying for you hugs
DeleteI realize this is an old comment. I pray you have encouragement from somewhere. I have not dealt with any hurt this big, yet I still struggle with being disrespectful and hurtful to my husband. A book that has helped us is "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. He talks about the "crazy cycle", you feel hurt (or unloved) so you disrespect your husband, he feels disrespected so he acts unloving towards you and the cycle continues until someone jumps off. As I tell myself and my children, we are only responsible for our own actions. It is my responsibility to respect my husband, as God commanded me. I can't change how he behaves. However, if the cheating continues, I would point out that is the one exception to no divorce that God gives us. May God bless your marriage with many happy years and may he give you the strength to respect your husband.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Desires-Desperately-Needs/dp/1594153205
I have been in a emotionaly, financial abusive and controling relationship for 20 years. A year ago I got help from my Padtor, his wife and the Elders of our church. I also sought professional counseling for myself.My husband has just recently begun to show interest in getting some help, but it is hard to know if he is sincere at yhis point. What I do know is the word says I can trust God. The more I pray and ask God to change my bitter heart into a forgiving heart the less I hurt and the more I heal and now I understand that whatever the outcome will be God is with me and is building my faith in him through this trail!
ReplyDeleteI truly love my husband but hurt him so badly sometimes with my words and with my actions but mostly not showing him respect. I do not want to do this. I want him to feel respected and loved. I grew up in a dysfunctional home where my mother was mainly the bread winner and still today runs the home. I do have trust issues and self-loathing is a huge challenge as well. He is a good man that fears the Lord and loves me...
ReplyDelete