Thursday, January 20, 2011

Large Family Dynamics--The Bates Family

I love learning from large families and if you are not familiar with the Bates family, who are good friends of the Duggars from the hit show 19 Kids and Counting, they are another large Christian family who are trying to raise their children for His glory. Here is a new video release of them and what a day in their life is like:

I really loved their in-house camera monitors so they know where the children are and what they are doing!

And felt hugely encouraged to see that someone else had a larger amount of laundry than we do! :)

And all the large family moms on this blog said in unison----AMEN!!!!


I like to buy the Duggar Movies
for my children to watch---they make great family movie nights and teach the children about character and how to get along with their siblings while addressing some great issues (purity, integrity, etc)! This is wholesome watching at its best! My husband even feels like he has learned alot from Jim Bob, their father.  If you are looking for great movies for the entire family, then check them out!


Mrs.B said...

I have a hard time watching these families, they hold the created Yfamily) above the creator. Also they don't show the struggles and trials that go with a large family. It is all berries and cream and none of the thorns that are there. It can have the effect of depressing other mothers when eveything is not on top side. And they also have the income from the show t work with, they never show them trying to figure out who really needs shows and whose shoes can be duct tapped together for a while longer. Just once I would love to see a show that shows all aspects of having a large family.

June Fuentes @ A Wise Woman Builds Her Home said...

Dear Mrs. B,

Do you really think that they hold the family above the Creator? I have never felt that when I have watched them and always seen them give glory to God for everything.

As for thorns, I thought this clip actually portrayed some of the realities of large families like what happens when many get sick, etc. I didn't think they tried to portray themselves as anything other than normal.

As for shoes, the Duggars once did a show explaining how they went shopping for shoes that needed replacing and they did that at their local thrift shop. It wasn't glamorous but it was reality.

I appreciate these families who share their lives with us, because I am sure it is not as easy as we think.

Many blessings...

Mrs. Stam said...

Love it!!!

Pamela said...

I love both of these families. The Duggars have been a blessing in our home. If you watch some of the shows, you do see the struggles in their life. Thank You for sharing. I was wondering how the Bates were doing. We don't have cable so we wait for the shows to come out on DVD.

Pamela said...

Would you mind if I post about this on my blog? I will make sure I link people back to your blog.

Caseybumpinalong said...

The Bates family are my inlaws, and yes they may have their chaotic and difficult moments, as all families do, but the truth is Kelly is amazingly organized, and she and Gil do a really, really good job of running their family, because they made raising children and living for God their #1 priorities. Honestly what you see on TV is very close to what their real life is like. Instead of getting depressed that I often struggle with 4 children when they seem to flourish with 18, I choose instead to learn from their example. They have a lot to teach!

Anonymous said...

I also enjoy watching The Bates when they are on The Duggars. This is the first time that I ever saw The Bates life without the Duggars.

If you can't buy the ZDuggars on DVD's or if you don't have cable/satellite to watch their show, you can go to on demand and pay $1.99 per show or about $28.99 for the entire season as they come out.

We don't have cable/satellite so that is how I watch the Duggars.

Thanks again for the link and many blessings!

Matthew 6:33

Kim said...

They are definitely inspiring and I love the sweet spirits. But Mrs. B is also right in that, because it's on TV and highly edited, it can come across as "easy" when it's really not.

They do have very effective systems in their homes and I know that the Duggars at least, have some smart streams of income. But, no matter what, 19 or 20 kids is going to be challenging. That's why you have the Lord :)

sarah said...

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
(Psa 127:3-5)

I only see blessings in these families!
What a great joy!!
Thanks for posting this!

Sarah beth said...

I love both the duggars and bates. I also have my children watch the shows. Both mothers are warm and patient, I pray to have more patience..and I only have 3 children! ;) The show really inspires me, I learned alot as a new christian woman. They are great role models!

Sarah beth said...

I forgot to say thank you for posting the video, I hope they have their own show one day! My son thought their video system was AWESOME. his words! ;)

Naomi said...

I enjoy watching both families as well. Compared to other tv families, these hold onto their Christian faith (not above the Creator) and are bold in their sharing of it. I like seeing how the older kids step up and help the younger ones, as it should be in all size of families. I could relate to the experience of a preemie, having walked that path twice myself. I believe they are honest in their life choices to teach their children integrity, work ethic, compassion, family unity, modesty, and a deep love for the Lord. I see the thorns and the berries. I'm thankful for their show and look forward to the new season. Have a great day Mrs. Fuentes.

Brandi in IL said...

I sit here with tears of joy as I watch about the Bates family! I can barely get through watching the Duggars with out tearing up because I am so in love with their large family!
I am pregnant with baby #6 and I am 30yrs old...and pray for more children after this (honestly as many as God blesses us with!)
Thank you for sharing this post!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, thanks for sharing. I will have to check it out when I have a little more time.

I appreciate your blog.

JenT said...

Thanks for posting this. I enjoy watching anything on the Bates.

For Mrs. B in the first comment, I personally know the Bates and I know that they DO NOT hold the created above the Creator. They have had their own struggles. As a mother of ten myself, I don't get depressed watching shows of them or the Duggars. On the contrary, it is refreshing and gives me hope that it can be peaceful. Also, please consider that the show is edited. Of course they don't show everything; the station wants the viewers to keep watching. :) No hard feelings, I just wanted to point out a couple of things.

Kim M. said...

Thank you! I enjoyed that so much!

Anonymous said...

Okay, I watched it and thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it.

Gombojav Tribe said...

"And felt hugely encouraged to see that someone else had a larger amount of laundry than we do! :)
And all the large family moms on this blog said in unison----AMEN!!!!"

Amen is right!


Mother of six....always up to my ears in laundry! :-)

Anonymous said...

I say no way families that large can survive without help from organizations. And don't give me a lecture on cutting corners. My corner is just about all cut and it is only my husband me. no we don't have tv now or eat out. I would never buy used shoes unless i knew where they came from. in a thrift shop, you never know who had them. For some reason society still equates having children with being more human. G-d does not place one person group of people above the other. If everyone paid their fair share of taxes, people wold think twice about having large broods. What happens in a case of divorce or worse?

"Compared to other tv families, these hold onto their Christian faith (not above the Creator) and are bold in their sharing of it."

The Gosselin proclaimed their Christian beleifs on the first show.

Vanyah said...

So love watching both families and learn so much from them. I too am from a LARGE family (oldest of 16)and know first hand what it is with holes, clothes too big, little ones to was hard for my family. My mother has been asked to tell her life BUT NO WAY!!! Not every family is like the Duggars, my mother would go NUTS!!! ;~)

June Fuentes @ A Wise Woman Builds Her Home said...

Dear Vanyah,

I know that everyone's experience will not be like the Duggars, that goes for any family. All families have their struggles (small or large), but it is really just how we deal with it that can make or break us. Big clothes, shoes with holes, and watching siblings can occur in even small families as well.

Dear Anon,

We need to consider the positive side of having a large family and not criticize that of which we do not personally know about. We do not know these families personally and therefore need to give them the benefit of the doubt, not assuming the worse. Children are a blessing from the Lord and that we cannot deny. Just because we think having a large family wouldn't work out for us personally doesn't mean it is wrong.

We need to look at children in with a biblical worldview--and NOT look down on them. How much more this needs to be true for the Christian---if Christians cannot grasp this and are hateful towards children they have embraced Satan's view.

As for divorce, we should pray for all families that this would not occur as the Bible talks against this. We should pray for the Gosselin family--that they would be reunited with one another. But we shouldn't live fearfully and not have children from fear of it.

Many blessings...

LisaAnne said...

In regads to buying shoes(or anything) at the thrift store, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. We have washing machines and lysol. I wash anything I buy before wearing it. I wipe down anything that can't be washed. There are so many germs that you touch and don't realize it.

June Fuentes @ A Wise Woman Builds Her Home said...

Dear Pamela,

Yes, of course you may share! :)

Dear Sandra,

I did not publish your post because we need to be careful about what we share about others. We do not know the inside story to everything and have to be careful not to judge or assume anything in error. I hope you understand. Maybe you meant good by sharing that, but because of how it was worded I cannot publish it.

Many blessings...

Bradley Pond said...

First, thank you for your blog. I've just recently started reading it & enjoy it very much.

Second, you should know that for anyone who has Netflix the Duggers show is available to view streaming online. Either through the Netflix site on your computer or through a Wii, Xbox, DVD player, etc that has Netflix loaded onto it.

Many blessings,

Audrey said...

Thank you for posting this!! I love the Duggars, and I have loved seeing the Bates family on the Duggars' show and have wanted to learn more about them since I first saw them on TV! These two families (in combination with a few others) have inspired me to pray and search the Scriptures regarding children, and now, my husband and I see children as a blessing and can't wait to have more! It's amazing how God uses these families to minister to younger families like ours. We only have two children so far (3.5 years and 15 months) but we're starting to get things in order now, just in case God wants to bless us with a few more.

Thank you for posting all that you do on large families.... it is a huge blessing to me!

Emily Blaisdell said...

Thank you for sharing this video. Personally, I enjoy seeing the Bates family on the Duggars and it was neat to see them in their own home. What a true blessing to see sweet families fellow-shipping and really living out their faith. (you know-being "do-ers" of the word and not only "hear-ers" They really seem to be in this world and not of it. what we all need to strive for. Refreshing!

Michelle Murray said...

I want a in house camera monitor so I can see if my children are sneaking cookies!!!!!!! Jealous! lol

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

I loved watching this video! I also love to buy the Duggar videos because it is good and wholesome for the family to watch. I think it is fascinating and helps my children understand they need to work as a team more.

Unknown said...

I believe there are valuable things that can be learned from watching large families - the organization, thriftiness, etc. But the one thing I've seen with the Duggars over and over again is that some of parenting responsibilities seem to be handed over to the older siblings. I have to admit, this makes me uncomfortable. Every episode I've seen (and I've seen several) shows the older children being largely responsible for the "care and feeding" of the younger children. Again, the editing issue could be a part of it. But I have watched episodes where an older sister took over sole responsibility for a younger sibling all day long.

Before anyone mentions the benefits of learning responsibility by helping a younger child, I am all for that. However, I am the mother. I am called to be responsible for raising that child. To hand off much of the daily care for my child to another one of my children could have some negative impact. I watched a smaller family (only three children)in which this was the case and the oldest child, upon getting married, stated that she was never having children because she had always raised two.

Please hear me when I say that there are great lessons to be learned and their commitment to their faith is one of the best things about the show. But I firmly believe that my four children are mine to raise and I should not turn over responsibility for raising them to other children.

Annie said...

LOVE the Bates and Duggars!!! they set such a wonderful example for all families today and I love to see Michelle Duggar mother her kids. She seems so patient, a virtue I need more of.

Anonymous said...

It's ridiculous how easy it is for us to sit back and judge a huge family when we don't have 18 kids and seriously don't understand what it's like. It's also amazing that we can talk like we're so much wiser than them by not choosing to have an army of kids, when millions are being influenced positively by their attitudes and testimony because they are so spiritually alive and are never ashamed of proclaiming Christ on national TV or scared of looking "different" or being spoken evil of for their conviction of their obedience to Biblical truths (do they judge us for having only 2-3 kids? no, they are more mature than us, that's why). But what seriously makes me surprised, is when we can say we are "mothering" our couple of kids when the majority of christians in America send their kids to school, send them on sleepovers, allow them to date and have babysitters watch them weekly. That is who the contemporary christian mother looks like, and no one judges her, no one accuses her on a daily basis, while we are so concerned with our taxes and yet we still don't mind how many of our taxes are going to drug addicts or abortions! If we look closely, their life shows that they are putting the Creator above all else, and teaching their family to follow the Creator, not teaching their couple of kids to copy the world and call that a christian life honoring God. I'm so glad they are so humble because God is looking pretty closely at them and holding them in his hands through their daily struggles as a large family, but we forget that he is far from proud pharisees who live by their own knowledge and wisdom and think they are right in their own eyes. We better check ourselves; here in America we think our word is always right, but GOD will always have the last Word. ~NM

Anonymous said...

Maybe Christians today can become intimidated by such godly large content families and attack them verbally as a result of the fear they have in feeling like they are not fully obeying God if they believe in family planning. But..."each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way." (Romans 14:12-13) So, if we are their sisters-in-Christ we should encourage them to continue forth serving God the way the Lord chose for them instead of somehow finding room for criticism because we can't relate or haven't been able to do what they have (successfully raise a big number of kids, teaching them to fear God and learn responsability early in life).

PS- I think just because they have "joy" and keep a smile on their face adds to the intimidation people have who accuse them of appearing perfect when they are not. They don't act perfect, they are just "joyful always" maybe we should try that and see if people accuse us of pretending to be perfect or hiding our problems :0)

Lulu Diego said...

INCREDIBLE!!! I love seeing large families. We NEED to populate the world with good Christian values once again!!
God bless the Bates and the Duggars and many other large families I know. I only wish that I had been able to have a large family!!! I was blessed with 2 beautiful children and am praying that they will be fruitful and multiply one day!!!

Toodlebugz said...

Thank you for this post. I recently met Kelly Bates while visiting my family in TN. She is a precious woman. I met three of her children and they were so polite and kind. We talked for over an hour about homeschool curriculum and children and I enjoyed every minute with her. I had no idea when we met that she was on tv or knew the Duggars just that we were both homeschool moms tring to raise our kids up in the Lord.She even invited us to their home the next day but we were unable to go because of previous plans.They are a wonderful family.

Beth said...

Thank you so much for posting information about the Duggars and the Bates families. I have a "small" family of just 5 children and then 4 years ago I remarried to a wonderful widower with 3. (Most of my family pictures have my oldest holding one of his little sisters or helping them. He is now one of the best daddies I have ever seen and he is so happy with his own family! He learned by helping me with his siblings and never felt used!) Half of our children are raised and we have two 8th graders as our youngests. I homeschool my daughter but but my stepson goes to school because that is what works with our family dynamics.
No one should judge another family. We should all be doing our best and what the Lord has called us to do!
The Lord has called us to adopt more children, hopefully from Africa, and He has used the Duggars and the Bates families to influence our home in a good way. We are soooo far from perfect and so are the Duggars and the Bates. I am sure that they would be the first people to tell you that! I am so happy to have my family sit down with me and watch the tv show! It is our special "date" night! We tape it and then we can pause it and talk about things if necessary. It has encouraged us to adopt more children who need a home and to try to have a better homelife for all of us!
We are certainly not "copies" of their family and my children and husband tease me and tell me that I am a "Duggar and Bates Groupie"...but they certainly are incredible testimonies to me and other people.
They have influenced us to work to get completely out of debt so that we can do what the Lord has asked us to do. We are currently buying a much smaller house and selling the one that has a mortgage on it. When all is said and done, we can do whatever the Lord asks us to do with our more missionaries, adopt children, whatever! God has really used the Duggars in a positive way in our lives. I know they are not held above God but they are examples like some of the people in the Bible are to us. It's almost like they are missionaries to us! We shouldn't hold them to such a high standard and then ridicule them if they at some point do something wrong! They are just people...Godly, wonderful people, but sinners just like us! Instead of ridiculing them, we should pray for them and encourage their witness and walk!
Love the Duggars and the Bates!!

Anonymous said...

I'm personally very pleasantly surprised that they show such a positive, encouraging view of an extra-large homeschooling Christian family. The fact is too that you can't win for losing. Meaning, if they showed the negative aspects it would be "Oh, see how tough it is, no one can do it with a large family" and if they don't it's "that's totally unrealistic.". Before Michelle Duggar had Josie I heard lots of "Well, she can do it because she has easy pregnancies and is so healthy". Now it's "How totally irresponsible she is to even think of having another child" if she should change her beliefs because it got tough. If you're content, peaceful and happy you're faking it and if not, then it's proof that everyone is miserable.

If they showed a poor family with a disabled child, no matter how happy they were nor how much they radiated Christ it wouldn't fly. That's American society.

I don't see how anyone can watch all the stuff with Josie and say all they show is the easy stuff, nor the Bates living in the home they lived in before their remodel, and say it's all easy. I remember one episode when they showed one of the kids about to throw up and thinking "I don't need to see that" (of course, I'm a vomit-phobic) :)

Kari said...

I adore watching these large families and learning from them! Mrs. Bates said something that touched my heart, because I feel the same way "she loves holding babies, she loves being pregnant"! Some people don't understand that. We have 3 children, one girl two boys. I had life threatening complications with my last one, just turning 6 months old, and was told at only 33 years of age I should not try to have anymore. :( Thank you for sharing their story with us, it sincerely warms my heart!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I am intrusted on how they afford everything my husband and I have five we struggle so hard financially and my husband owns his own tree service as well but we may have to close it down.


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